


Empathy

by futuraultra



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Dreams, Dreamsharing, Empathy, NCT 2018, Near Future, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-10 20:48:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 44,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18415577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futuraultra/pseuds/futuraultra
Summary: In the not-too-distant future, SM labs recruits 15 people from around the world to participate in dream therapy research. When Mark makes the cut, he begins to realize that SM's intentions may not be what they seem.





	Empathy

I’m starting at the end, the only place that makes any sense. I’m currently on a gurney in the back of an ambulance. The A/C is on full blast, even though it’s almost November. I’m sweating like it’s the end of the world. I’m naked, just like I’d been in the pods.  
The sun is setting over the fields and streams as we drive closer and closer to civilization, and farther from the lab. I’m 40 pounds lighter than I was almost a year ago, and now I’m nothing but a bag of bones and organs held together by sallow, pale skin.  
I can’t walk, my muscles have weakened and atrophied after almost a year of unuse. A police officer had to carry me to the gurney. He had mistaken me for a child at first, but I can tell you right now that I’ve never felt so far from childhood in my entire life.  
My still-damp hair is down almost to my shoulders, and it’s riddled with grey streaks caused by stress. I am 20 now. I didn’t get to see my birthday. I didn’t get to see my final teenage summer. I missed everything. And for what?  
I’m not even sure. Did any of this matter? It seems in the end it didn’t. What would happen to me? What would happen to my friends? Some of them would never be the same.  
The events of the last hour are running through my mind. I can’t unsee it all. The lights, the sirens, the police telling me everything would be okay. I had never thought they wouldn’t be. Or maybe I did.

So what did come out of all of this, you may ask?

I’m not even sure. But I won’t lie to you. Life’s too short and everything is too temporary to lie.  
Someone needs to hear the truth. 

Maybe I should start from the beginning. Maybe something did matter. 

Just Maybe.

Ch. 1

It was the beginning of my second year of college. I was going to school for Biology, something I had always been passionate about. I wanted to follow in my dad’s footsteps. He had been an Evolutionary Biologist. He mostly studied how our conscious differed from that of animals. How humans’ brains had evolved into the complex machinery it is today.  
Maybe I was also doing this because I knew my dad’s days were dwindling. He was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer in June. Ironic, I know. He was fighting the good fight though, and it’s still unclear just how long he may have.  
People would ask me how I felt about the whole thing, and to be honest, I didn’t know what to feel at all. How do you feel about something you’ve never had to experience? I obviously know he’s sick, but I don’t necessarily see it day to day.  
He’s still him for now, but I know it won’t always be like this. I know one day it’ll all catch up to him, and one day he’ll have to go.  
My friend’s dad died from cancer when we were about 12. I remember seeing him a week before he died. He couldn’t stand, and his skin was grey. You could see every bone in his body. It was like seeing a ghost.  
I remember him apologizing that he couldn’t stand up and shake my father’s hand. It took everything I could not to break down and sob right there in front of him. To not reveal what I knew everyone was already thinking.  
It scares me that that’ll probably be my dad. I guess that’s what I feel in all of this. Not sad. Not angry. But terrified. I would never let anyone know that though, especially not my dad.  
But for now, I’m going to school, and working hard to make him proud for the time being.  
My mom has been distant in all of this. I think this is hurting her so badly. I think she’s afraid too, about what the hell comes next. She had to stop working a few years ago after she got in a car accident and broke her spine.  
I know she’s worried about how she’ll keep it all afloat once my dad is gone. That makes it sound like she’s only with my dad for the money, but she’s valid in worrying about it. College isn’t cheap, even with the scholarships I have.  
I don’t know what will happen. If I have to, I’ll drop out of school to support her. I know that’d be the last thing she would want but I have to do something.

<><><><><><><><><><>

My dad doesn’t live at home anymore. He was too in and out of the hospital so he now has a permanent residency there. He can still walk, and laugh, and even sometimes run, he’s just bald while he does it. I tease him that he looks like Mr. Clean, and he always laughs...every time.  
I would try and visit him every weekend. The hospital where he stays is 2 hours from my university, but I know someday, there would be no distance that I could drive to get to him, so I endure the commute.  
Every visit we would just sit and talk. Sometimes he would teach me things from his studies that I could understand, and even help me with my bio homework.  
He would always want me to visit him in the morning. He would always say that when someone leaves in the morning, it gives you the feeling that you’ll see them again. He would say that there is no guarantee that the sun would rise again, so why waste the day.  
Some days he would be sicker than others. Some days I would come and he’d be asleep, hooked up to wires and machines. I would sit there though, tracing the patterns on his bed sheets and telling him about my week.  
Those are the days when I would allow a few tears to fall. I would never let him see that. Never let him know that I was afraid. Afraid of a life without him. A life I knew was ahead.  
I would look at him, from the edge of his motorized bed. His hands were thinning by the day and his blue veins were so close to the surface that one paper cut seemed like it could slice him right open.  
One weekend was unlike the rest. It was a weekend that would change everything. For me. For my dad. For my mom. For everyone.  
I was sitting on the edge of my dad’s bed, talking about another blase week of school, in my blase college town when he suddenly grabs my wrist and places a small piece of folded paper in my hand. I unfold the paper to realize it’s a newspaper article he had cut out.  
“Read it outloud,” my dad whispers. I look up at him with a raised eyebrow, then back down at the paper; “Dream in a Dream: SM Labs infiltrating sleep. SM labs rose to fame in the past three years for it’s studies in dream research. In 2XXX, the lab discovered the secrets to unlocking the potential of dream therapy. While still silent on the extent and science behind this dream therapy, SM has done extensive testing on apes and dogs alike, allowing them to infiltrate each other’s dreams in order to merge consciousness. On Monday, SM announced in cryptic advertisements that it was starting a new experiment in dream studies, but this time, with humans. The experiment is titled NCT: Empathy and will be an undefined length of human trials to study the benefits of dream infiltration.” “Dad is this real?” I ask. “Keep reading Mark, keep reading.” He beckons.  
“SM is looking for 15 participants from around the world to take part in this experiment. While the details of the experiment are unknown, SM is offering $1.5 million to each of the 15 participants. This has caused buzz around the world and people are pouring in to get a chance at the illustrious 15 spots. SM has put a small window to apply with applications closing at midnight on November 1st, one week from when this article is published. Applications can be printed off of their website and mailed in to: 4XX, XXXXX XXXXX. Or you can fill out an online application at: www.https//smlab/NCTempathy.org. SM says that the turn around will be next to immediate, with participants being announced within 24 hours of the deadline”  
“W-why are you showing me this.” I ask. “You should apply Mark. I mean, one million dollars. A chance to be involved in lucid dream research. I wouldn’t ask you if I weren’t in this condition. I understand if it’s not something you want to do but, I thought I’d at least show you.” He says.  
It was strange, the tone in his voice. It was filled with desperation, almost like if I didn’t do this, he would blow away right then and there. What was even stranger is the context of it all. My dad had worked for SM a long time ago, when I was only about four or five.  
He had been let go only a couple years into working for them. That’s why this was so weird. Why would he want me to be a part of an ex-company?  
“I’ll have to think about it. I’ll read their website when I get home.” I say. He let’s go of my wrist he had been holding onto the entire time, and breathes a deep sigh. I could tell he was disappointed with my answer.  
“Of course. I completely understand. Why don’t you talk about it with your mother as well.” He says in a hushed tone. “Why do you want me to do it so badly?” I ask. “Why now?”  
“Mark, I’ll be gone soon. I just want to see my son change the world while I’m still here. I want you to do something beyond yourself. You don’t have to do it, I want that to be clear. As much as I want this, I want it to be your choice as well,” He says.  
“I’ll think about okay?” I say holding his hands between my own. “I have to go dad, but I’ll see you before I leave tomorrow okay?” I say as I get up off of his bed. “Oh and Mark, one more thing.” He says as I begin to leave.

“If you do this, tell me everything when you return.”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

I get home that night and sit down in front of my laptop, the cursor blinking endlessly in the Google search box. I take the newspaper clipping out of my pocket and smooth it out on the edge of my desk. I look down at the hyperlink at the bottom of the page.  
This is insane. I remember when the news broke my junior year of highschool that SM had successfully infiltrated the dreams of animals. There was just as much support as there was backlash. Animal rights activists protested SM’s headquarters saying that their methods were inhumane and that animals had the rights to their own brains.  
Some feared what SM would do with this technology, but SM assured the public that this technology was on track to be used as therapy for those with severe mental handicaps/disorders, such as alzheimer's, ptsd, and autism.  
I trace my finger over each letter and symbol of the hyperlink printed in faded, black ink. Am I really going to do this?  
I slowly type each letter into the search box, every click of the keyboard with more hesitation than the last. I press enter quick, like ripping off a bandaid.  
Suddenly, I’m greeted with an all white screen with small blue words on it:

"Welcome to SM Dream Labs™"

"Apply To Empathy" "Exit Site"

Very minimalistic, and straight to the point, I guess this was it. I click “Apply to Empathy” and the blue words quickly dissolve and I am greeted with another simplistic screen:

"My Name Is:"

I type “Mark Lee” and am taken to the next page.

"I am a:"

"Male/ Female/ Other/ I’d Rather Not Say"

I click “Male,” and the letters dissolve again;

"How old will you be as of November 1st, 2XXX?"

The site gives me another type box into which I type out the number 19 and press enter.

"Have you ever had a dream that predicted the future?"

"Yes/ Probably/ Probably Not/ No"

I sit there for a moment, stumped as to what I should answer. I don’t really know, I wish that was an option. I guess we’ve all experienced deja vu, but is that the same thing? I hover my mouse over all of the options. I’m thinking into this way too much. I quickly click “Probably” and the letters dissolve once more.

"Do you believe you are capable of empathy?"

"Yes/ No/ What is Empathy?"

When I hover over the “What is Empathy?” tab, and a little pop up appears: 

"Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another"

I think I can do that. I know I can do that. I cried when Simba cried in the Lion King. That’s empathy. I click “Yes.”  
The screen goes black for moment. Holy shit, did this site crash my computer? Suddenly, yellow text appears on the screen:

"Thank You Mark Lee, NCT Dream Lab Will Look Over Your Application, And Get Back With You Soon."

Get back with me soon? How? I never put in any contact information. This whole thing feels like a prank, I’m not gonna lie. The application had five questions. How would they ever find the people they’re looking for with just those?  
Whatever, maybe this whole thing was just one big publicity stunt to get people talking about them again. I wouldn’t doubt it.  
The whole thing, prank or not feels a little bit creepy, almost as if someone is watching me. I rub my eyes, I can’t let this go to my head, I’m being ridiculous. This was all just so sudden, so weird. This was something that seemed so out of a movie, it couldn’t possibly be real…

It just couldn’t.

Ch. 2

I went to class the next day, looking at every face I passed, wondering if anyone else had mustered up the courage to apply.  
I get to my first class, Biology 236, and sit down at my lab table. The clock strikes eight, and just as my professor goes to close the door, a foot slides through the closing space. “Lee Donghyuck, this class starts at 8 a.m. sharp, no later. If you show up late one more time I will start deducting some serious points from your attendance grade,” my professor says as she opens the door back up, letting Donghyuck in.  
Donghyuck had been my best friend since I was nine. He was a year younger than me, but despite his seemingly slack attitude towards school, he was a genius. So now, at barely 18, he was at sophomore standing with me at our university.  
He slinks his way over to the lab table I’m sat at and throws himself into the stool next to me. The professor glares at him, and he shoots her a smile...smartass. “Dude, tell me why she’s gotta be on my ass like this, I literally wasn’t late, I was right on time,” he whispers to me. “I don’t know why she cares that much either, you literally have the best grades in this class I just think she wants to be upset just to be upset,” I whisper back.  
“Today, we’ll be doing partner discussions on the protein synthesis essay you all should have read last night,” The professor announces. “For reference, you may pull up the essay on a device, but I will be walking around to make sure you aren’t doing anything else on your electronics,” She says as she once again glares at Donghyuck who feigns innocence.  
Everyone pulls out their phones and laptops and moves around the room to partner up. Donghyuck and I stay put, we’re always partners. Donghyuck pulls out his laptop and begins to pull up the essay. “Man this some bull,” he chuckles. “Like we already had to answer questions on this essay last night why is she making us do more work?” Donghyuck asks.  
I don’t respond. “Did you hear me?” Donghyuck asks, nudging my arm. “What? Oh yeah, I heard you,” I lie. “What are you so deep in thought about?” He asks. I take a quick look around, the teacher is at the front of the room answering a question.  
I turn back to Donghyuck; “H-how much do you know about SM labs?” I ask. He raises an eyebrow and then cocks his head to the side. “ I mean, I heard about the dream stuff they did with those monkeys a few years ago, but that’s about it.” He says as he switches between tabs on his laptop.  
I look again, the teacher is still helping another student. “Donghyuck, quick, type in www.https//smlab/NCTempathy.org.” I say. “Uh, why?” He asks with a laugh. “Have you heard about their new project?” I ask. “Got to be honest, not really. But I did see something about a competition or something they’re putting on? I don’t know man.” He says.  
“Donghyuck. They’re going to do what they did with the apes, but on people,” I whisper. “Wait are you serious? Like, the dream stuff?” He asks. “Yeah. My dad told me about it. Apparently they’re looking for 15 random people to be a part of their new dream research. T-they’re gonna pay the participants like a million dollars dude.” I say.  
“Now you’re speaking my language!” He whispers through a grin. “How do you get to be one of the 15?” He asks. “Go to the link I told you about.” He quickly types it in, his eyes darting up at the professor, then back down at his keyboard. The same white screen with small blue letters pops up:

Welcome to SM Dream Labs™

Apply To Empathy Exit Site

“What the fuck is this?!” Donghyuck asks. “It’s the application for the experiment. I-I already did it last night.” I whisper. “Wait are you serious? This is totally a publicity stunt you know that right? I mean look at this page, this is totally just SM trying to get their name back into the public eye.” He laughs. “Just do it. Please.” I beg.  
“Fine but just for you, my bestttt frienddd,” he teases, lips pursed. He clicks the “Apply for Empathy” tab and the next screen appears

My Name Is:

“Ooo, should I put in a fake name or something?” He asks. “Dude, be serious, there’s only like five or six questions on this whole application.” I say. He speeds through the rest of the questions, answering everything truthfully, but with a sarcastic smirk plastered to his face.  
The final screen appears:  
Thank You Lee Donghyuck, NCT Dream Lab Will Look Over Your Application, And Get Back With You Soon.

“Woooooo, spoookyyyy,” Donghyuck teases. “If this ends up being real, and we’re both somehow chosen, let’s make a pact to get the hell out of this place and do everything we always said we would,” he says, extending his hand to me. “Deal,” I chuckle, shaking his hand in return. 

 

Ch. 3

The next night I told my mom about it at dinner. “With SM huh? Have you told dad about it?” She chuckles. “Well, it’s actually dad who told me about it.” I say. There’s a pause. “That’s...strange that he would bring it up don’t you think?” She says, her voice shaking.  
“I mean, I don’t know. I know he was fired from there wasn’t he? But maybe he’s still interested in the research they’re doing.” I pause, looking down for a moment at my plate. I scoot the few peas around the rim, my fork quietly ringing as it’s dragged against the porcelain. “Mom, why did dad get fired from SM?” I ask.  
“I-I don’t know. He never told me. He said it was no big deal, and that it was mutual between him and them,” she says quickly. “Well, what do you think of this whole experiment thing?” I ask. “Well, I’m not sure. It’ll be crazy if you’re chosen. I just don’t want you getting hurt. I wish you had told me before you applied.” She says.  
“Well, I doubt I’ll be chosen…. I seriously doubt it.” I whisper.

<><><><><><><><>

Every day that passed was one more day closer to SM’s announcement. I would toss and turn all night, wondering if it would be me. What would they do? Poke and prod my sleeping brain for answers? Hook me up to another person and share our brain juices? The thought of it sent shivers down my spine.  
I would dream of faceless doctors in white lab coats that touched the ground, looking at me from behind big windows. I would be naked, and everytime I would catch myself in the reflection of the glass, I would recognize myself less and less until all I could see was some sort of ape staring back.  
I would wake up, drenched in sweat from head to toe. I would quickly flip the light on, making sure there were no doctors hiding in the darkest corners of my room. There never were.  
As the days continued to pass, I was beginning to praying they wouldn’t pick me. I wish I could take back the application. I’m scared shitless.  
The weekend finally came, and it was only four days till November 1st. I visited my dad in the hospital, only this time, he wasn’t awake. The nurse told me not to wake him as he was weak from his chemo treatments earlier that day. I sit next to his sleeping body, and take a hold of his hand. It’s cold, and dry. An almost unsettling combination of both. “Hey dad,” I whisper, “I did it. I applied for the experiment. Mom isn’t quite sure what to think of it. Can I be honest? At this point, I’m terrified that I’ll be chosen. What’s gonna happen? What will they do to me? Does mom know something? D-do you know something?” Tears begin to stream out of my eyes. “I wish you weren’t sick dad. I want you back so badly my bones ache. I want you to tell me everything will be okay.”  
I look out his lone window, to the world beyond. A place filled with soft morning light. How many mornings did he have left? Not enough.  
He would never play catch with me, or take me fishing, or watch our favorite show with me. He would never rake together a pile of leaves for me to jump in, or come see me at my games. He would never see me graduate college, or get married, or have kids. These experiences would be void of him, and there wasn’t a thing in the world I could do about it.  
“I’ll tell you if I made it in or not, okay?” I say to him, giving his hand a pat. I lean towards him and place a kiss on his forehead; “I love you dad, I’ll see you soon.”

<><><><><><><><><><>

The rest of the week I followed the news, everyone waiting in anticipation as to who would be chosen. Every news outlet from around the world was reporting on the lead up, some stations even having a live counter to November 1st. It felt like I was waiting for a golden ticket, only, there would be no chocolate at the end of this.  
When the clock struck 12 on November 1st, everyone waited with bated breath. SM said they would have their choices within 24 hours, so now the real wait was on.  
I didn’t eat that entire day. I couldn’t. My mind and stomach were swirling at the thought that they would pick me. I couldn’t focus in any of my classes and when I got home, I just paced my room, drenched in sweat.  
I look at the clock: 6:47 PM. Where is their announcement? What’s taking them so long? I can’t stand this anymore. I lay down in my bed, and kick the blankets off, I’m too hot to be covered up right now.  
I roll over and stare at my phone, no notifications. What if this all really was a huge publicity stunt and I just end up looking like an idiot?  
Eventually I fall asleep, these past few weeks have taken an extreme toll on my body, the stress almost making me go insane.  
I dreamt of an all white room, nothing on the ceiling, nothing on the floor, nothing on the walls except for a lone mirror. A mirror that I knew held someone behind it. I couldn’t move in the dream. I just stood and stared at the mirror, knowing someone was staring back. I wasn’t afraid though, in fact I was the opposite. For the first time, I felt that I was the one in control, that I was the one who had the power.  
<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

I wake up to my phone ringing, at first I think it’s just my imagination, my mind flowing from a state of sleep to meet reality.  
But it’s real. I almost jump to see who it is. It couldn’t possibly…  
I look, it’s just my mom. I answer with a yawn: “Hey mom, what’s up? I was just taking a nap, are you okay?” I ask drowsily. “Mark! Mark, turn on the TV right now! Any channel!” She yells through the line.  
I scramble to my apartment’s living room with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. No way. I take a deep breath and flip on the TV. Suddenly I am bombarded with a collage of faces and names repeating over and over again. The 15, they were chosen.  
The news anchor reads off a list over and over again:  
“This is final, SM has chosen the 15 participants for the Empathy experiment, I repeat, SM has chosen the 15 participants for the Empathy experiment. The names are as follows: Moon Taeil, Lee Taeyong, Nakamoto Yuta, Kim Doyoung, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, Jung Jaehyun, Dong Sicheng, Kim Jungwoo, Mark Lee, Lee Jeno, Huang Renjun,Lee Donghyuck, Na Jaemin, Zhong Chenle, and Park Jisung. That is the final roster folks. We’ll be giving you updates as soon as they come in.”  
My skin turns to ice as they say my name and show my picture. Under each picture is a caption that reads: “Courtesy of SM Labs.” How did they get that? Why me? What is happening?  
I realize my mom is still on the phone, and I quickly put it back up to my ear. “Mom?” I ask. “Mark?! You’re in?!” She yells through the line. I can hear her begin to get choked up. There’s a long pause before she says anything. “M-Mark…..just…..call me in the morning, let me know if they say-” Suddenly the line drops and I’m getting another call from an unknown number.  
I hesitate for a moment. I feel like I know who it will be. What would happen if I just didn’t answer? My curiosity is too great, I accept the call; “H-hello?” I say down the line. “Hi, is this Mark Lee of 2351 165th St. North?” A male’s voice says almost robotically through the phone. “Yeah, it’s me.” I croak back. “Wonderful! And could you confirm your birthday for me?” The voice asks. Is this a robot? It’s almost impossible to tell. “Yeah, August 2nd, 1999.” I say. “Excellent. Congratulations on being chosen as one of the 15 dreamers in our study. A van will be coming to pick you up tomorrow morning at 7 AM to take you to our lab. You do not need to bring any clothes, food, money, or personal items. Please refrain from eating any food after 9 PM tonight. All questions and details regarding the experiment will be answered on arrival to the lab. We’ll be seeing you then!” The voice cheerily says. “Wait, how do you know my-” the line drops. “Birthday...” I say. Birthday? How does he know my address?  
Suddenly, my phone rings again, it’s Donghyuck; “Mark, holy shit, have you turned on the news?! We made it in dude. I literally don’t even know what to do right now. Did a dude call you too? Bro, how did they get our pictures, or our addresses? Or any of this? This is insane!” He yells down the line. “I don’t know what to say either. I guess we’ll see tomorrow if any of this is true at all,” I say. “Okay, well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then? Maybe?” He asks. “Maybe. I’ll talk to you then okay?” I say, my voice clearly shaking. “Okay.” He says back. Just before I hang up, Donghyuck asks one last thing; “Mark? Are you...afraid at all?” I pause as I’m faced with a decision; to lie or reveal my true feelings in all of this. I could tell by the way Donghyuck had asked, that he was afraid. He had always been like a little brother to me. When we were kids, he’d be picked on for one thing or another, just like we all were, but I’d always try to be there to protect him. I would always be there to make sure he never got hurt. So I decide to lie, to protect him this one last time; “There’s nothing to be afraid of Hyuck. Everything is going to turn out fine. The two of us are gonna have so much fun. Just think about it, no school, a new place. I know we’ll have a blast.” “You’re right. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then,” he says almost hesitantly before the line hangs up.  
I drop my phone, and sink down to sit on the floor. This whole thing has been creepy and overwhelming and...unreal, as if it was straight out of a sci-fi movie. I wouldn’t be surprised if this ended up being a dream. Perhaps a dream within a dream. If this is a dream, it’s unlike any I’ve ever had.  
Regardless, dream or not, I was chosen. One of the 15. One of the few spots everyone in the world was competing for. And so was Donghyuck. And for what? Answering five questions? We’re going to be millionaires I guess. 

But why do I feel like it won’t be worth it?

Ch. 4

I didn’t sleep at all that night. I tossed and turned till my sheets were soaked with a sweaty imprint of my body. The hours ticked by, slow at first, but then all too fast, till suddenly it was 6 AM.  
My eyes burn and my stomach aches from lack of sleep. I keep looking out my window for an ominous van to pull down my street...to come for me. “If I’m this scared, I should just tell them I don’t want to do it,” I think to myself.  
I sit up in bed and hang my feet over the edge. I wiggle my toes, and gently swing my legs back and forth.  
I take a deep breath in, then out. Suddenly, something catches my attention; the morning sun piercing through my open window. It lights up my room with a single ray and beckons the wind to come along with it. It sends a chill down my spine, but a good one. The kind you get after you finish riding a roller coaster, or the kind when you see the ocean for the first time.  
I slide out of bed and head for the kitchen. I open the fridge and pull out a leftover slice of pizza from a couple nights ago, and take a bite. “Shit!” I say to myself. I’m totally not supposed to eat right now per the orders of the mystery phone man. I spit the bite in my mouth into the trash can and put the reminder of the slice back into the fridge. I’m starving from not eating at all yesterday, I hope they have a feast waiting for me wherever we’re going.  
I look back at the clock; 6:15 AM. I head to the bathroom and undress, turning the shower on as I do. I step in, and let the hot, almost scalding water run down my aching shoulders to my ankles. I sit down on the floor of the shower, something I haven’t done since I was young. But I feel like a child right now, frightened of the unknown. I don’t know where all this fear is coming from, maybe it’s a sign, or maybe I’m just overreacting.  
I sit, and let the steam fill my lungs, and curl my hair. I use to love being a kid and letting the shower just engulf me with steam. I felt like an experiment coming out of cryosleep everytime I would leave the shower, letting all the steam billow out before me.  
It’s times like these when you sit and think of how the time got away from you. How now you’re on your own in this big, wide world. I never thought for a minute I had wasted any of my youth, any time with my dad, anytime with anyone. But maybe that’s what weighs on us the most; the fact that even though we’ve savored every moment, that even though through everything we tried or best, we can never go back. That the days will still come one after another and that we have to live with the choices we’ve made; good, bad, or otherwise.  
I just sometimes wish it would all just slow down. That it could just be paused for a moment. That the things I look forward to could come and go at a more leisurely pace. Do you wish for that to? It’s just that at times it tends to feel like everything might end before it’s ever even started.  
Suddenly, my eyes snap open, how long have I been sitting in here? I open the shower curtain and grab my phone, oh shit it’s already 6:50, they’ll be here any minute.  
I quickly turn the shower off and step out of the stall. I give my hair a quick scrunch with my towel, then wrap it around my waist. I scurry to my room, leaving small puddles of water down the hall from my still-drenched feet.  
I put on some gray sweatpants and my treasured purple shirt; one that’s been worn from years of favoritism. They said not to pack anything, but surely I should at least pack a little day bag. I grab my backpack out of my closet and dump my school supplies out of it. I quickly throw my wallet, toothbrush, chargers, laptop, and a couple pairs of underwear into the bag and zip it up.  
What else do I need? I throw on my favorite hat and my black sweatshirt and begin the scramble to look for my shoes. I check the time: 6:59. I look out the window, no van.  
I’m hectically tying my shoes, having to redo each one several times because my hands are moving faster than my brain, when suddenly, there’s a knock at the door.  
I check my phone, it’s exactly 7:00 AM, just like they said. Even though I had acted in a prompt manner, the fact that they, whoever that might be, was so perfectly punctual was a bit bizarre. I take a deep breath, and finish tying my shoes. I slowly raise off the ground, and another knock sounds from the front of my apartment.  
I open the door to my room and make my way to the front of my apartment, my backpack hanging off one shoulder.  
The hallway seems longer today, longer than it’s ever been. No matter how many steps I take it feels as if the front door isn’t getting any closer. Another, more desperate knock echoes from the other side of the door. My hands are cold and clammy, and my stomach is twisting, and turning like a pit of snakes.  
Finally, there is only a foot between me and the door, a foot between whoever is on the other side, and me. I place my hand on the handle. “1….2…..3!” I rip the door open, my heart feels as if it could fall right out of my chest.  
Standing in the doorway is a young man, no more than three or four years older than me. He is wearing an outfit that is a mixture of creams, beiges, and whites. He is wearing a name tag which reads: Qian Kun, Director of Psychology, SM Labs Incorporated. He is kind looking, with soft, brown eyes, and a warm smile. He’s holding a clipboard with a thick stack of paper attached to it.  
“Hi, you must be Mark, my name is Kun. Are you ready to go?” He asks cheerily, extending a hand. I slowly reach out and he enthusiastically shakes my hand with a firm grip. Wait a minute, there’s something too familiar about this. “Were you who I talked to on the phone?” I ask hesitantly. “Certainly was! I’m glad to be speaking to you again.” He beams.  
There’s something almost unnerving about him. Maybe it’s the perfectly pressed pants, or his almost-too-big, stark-white teeth. Or maybe it’s the fact that he hasn’t blinked once.  
“You won’t be needing that bag Mark, you can just leave it in your apartment.” Kun chimes. “W-what about my toothbrush, and my phone?” I ask. “Our lab will provide toothbrushes, and we will give you time to contact people outside of our labs using our phones.” He says, smile still plastered to his face.  
“Okay, let me just put my backpack in my room then,” I say as I turn away from the door. “Alright, but be quick, we have a big day ahead of us!” Kun yells from behind me. I quickly walk to my room and put my bag down. I shove my phone down my pants, and head back to the front door.  
“All set?” Kun asks, still standing perfectly in the doorway. “Y-yeah, all set.” I say back. “Great! Come with me.” He says reaching out a hand. What is this? I feel like I’m about to enter Disney World, or maybe a psych ward. I take a hold of his outstretched hand and he pulls me close. He pats my hand as we begin to walk to the blacked-out van parked on the side of the road. “You know Mark, I am so glad you’re here, you must know how special you are to be picked among millions of people. You’re going to make history, you know that?” He says to me, smile unbreaking. “I-I guess. Can you tell me what’s going to happen now? Like what are they gonna do to me? How long is it going to take?” I fire off. “Don’t worry Mark, don’t worry. We will fill you in when you get to the lab, just relax.” He says, rubbing the top of my hand.  
We get to the van and he opens the door and beckons me to get inside. This feels like the beginning to a kidnapping, but this has to be real, they know too much about me for this to be anything else. I take a deep breath, and hop inside.  
The interior of the van is luxurious with beige leather captain seats and cream carpeting, the same color pallette as Kun’s outfit. The ceiling is dimly lit with light blue lights that run along the edges. The windows are completely black on the inside, the world beyond being blocked, giving the van a claustrophobic feeling. Kun closes the door behind me and I fall into the first seat. Suddenly the partition separating the front two seats and the main cabin opens to reveal Kun; “Buckle up Mark, we have a bit of a drive ahead of us. Would you like to watch a movie? I can pull up the screen and you can watch whatever you want.”  
He pulls out a small remote control and points it at the ceiling of the van and suddenly a screen slides down. “Here, we have tons of movies to choose from, I’m sure you’ll find something you like,” He says as he hands me the remote. “If you need anything during the trip just knock on the partition,” He says as he quickly closes the partition back up with a click.  
I throw the remote in the seat beside me. I’m too tired and queasy to watch anything right now. I pull out my phone and text Donghyuck:

I’m in a van. The dude who picked me up is kinda weird. This whole thing is kinda weird. The van is completely blacked out. Have you been picked up yet?

No answer. Maybe he didn’t think to sneak his phone in. Or maybe they took it. I put my phone back in my pocket and recline my seat back as far as it goes. I might as well get some sleep, not like I wasn’t about to get plenty of that.

Ch. 5

“Mark. Mark it’s time to get up. Mark.” I jolt up, my heart seemingly stopping and starting all at the same time. The feeling of unfamiliarity comes and goes as it does when you wake up in an unfamiliar place. Kun is inches from me, that same smile still plastered to his perfectly smooth face. “Welcome to SM Labs. Follow me,” Kun says, again reaching out a hand.  
I grab his hand and he helps me out of the van. We’re in a darkened garage. The walls are made of some kind of sleek, black marble. The room is filled with different kinds of vehicles, from the vans that I rode in, to smaller sports cars, all marked with the same SM emblem.  
He leads me behind the van, and towards the seemingly only portal out of the garage. Kun presses a spot on the wall where a sudden keypad appears. He types in a long series of numbers, too long for me to ever remember. Suddenly the portal in the wall opens to reveal the inside of an elevator. The interior matches the black marble that lines the walls of the garage. Kun leads me inside, and pushes the only button in the entire elevator. The elevator lurches and begins to move, only, I can’t tell if it’s going up, or if it’s going down.  
Kun, still grasping my hand, leans in closer to me; “Are you excited Mark? Or maybe you’re a little nervous?” He asks. “Nervous I guess. I don’t really know what to expect. W-will I be able to see the other participants today?” I ask. “Later. We’ve scheduled everyone’s day so that we can get everything done in a timely yet private manner. I’m sure you understand,” he responds, patting the top of my hand.  
The elevator dings and the door slides open, revealing a long, baby blue hallway lined with white doors. Kun walks me out of the elevator, and past the doors. Each one is labeled with a number; 120, 122, 123,124… Does this mean we’re on the first floor of the lab? I’m not entirely sure.  
We make it to the end of the hallway where a floor to ceiling black door awaits us. Kun presses what looks like a doorbell that is off to the side of the door and suddenly a loud clicking sound emanates from the other side. A locking sound, or more like, and unlocking sound.  
We step into what looks like a waiting room in a doctor’s office. There are a few metal chairs and a small, black coffee table with unmarked books on it. A receptionist is sitting at an almost comically large white, wooden desk at the opposite side of the room. Kun and I approach the desk and he flashes a badge he produces from his pocket. The receptionist nods and allows us to pass through yet another door that lies beyond the desk.  
Suddenly, there are doctors and nurses bustling around in white lab coats and blue scrubs, only I don’t see anyone else. No patients, no one who resembles Kun. Kun takes me around corners, and down another hallway. We pass closed door after closed door. Every doctor and nurse is running around as if Kun and I don’t exist, as if they can’t even see us at all.  
We weave through long hallways, and past innumerable people until we reach a small room. It looks just like any other doctor’s office, with a sink, a lab table covered in paper, and anatomy diagrams covering the walls. Only, the diagrams are only of the brain. Each diagram a different layer, a different piece, a different purpose.  
Kun turns to me, now grabbing my other hand as well. “Mark, this is where I leave you for now. They are going to run some tests to make sure you’re healthy. I’m sure you’ve had a physical for school before, it’ll be just like that. There’s a gown in the drawer next to the sink, change into that. I’ll be seeing you later today, and we can talk more then. I’ll make sure the doctor comes right in,” He says as he let’s go of my hands.  
“Wait!” I say as I grab his shoulder. “What is it Mark?” He says, turning around. I had a million questions to ask, but I knew he wouldn’t answer them right now. “Nothing, nevermind,” I say letting go. “I’ll be seeing you later Mark, don’t be afraid,” Kun says as he closes the door behind him.  
I turn around to face the rest of the room. I always hated the doctor’s, I’m not sure if anybody doesn’t. I begin to take my clothes off, making sure to conceal my phone in the layers of fabrics. An uneasiness washes over me as I slowly remove each article, until I’m left in just my underwear and an uneasiness... as if….  
I fold my clothes into a neat pile, and set them down on the floor. I walk over to the drawer next to the sink and open it, revealing a light green, paper gown. I unfold it and put it on, my back still open. I sit down on the table and swing my legs back and forth. I fiddle with the strings that tie the gown together, wrapping and unwrapping it around my fingers.  
My hands are sticky with sweat, and I suddenly realize how genuinely nervous I am. I can’t believe I’m doing this, I can’t believe I’m actually here. I just wanted to talk to Donghyuck. Had the other participants already done this? Were they even all here yet?  
Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door, and it swings open to reveal a tall, dark haired man in an almost floor-length lab coat. He’s wearing thin, round glasses and a heavy, metal watch. He too is young, probably the same age as Kun if I were to guess. Maybe it’s ignorant of me to think it weird that they’re both so young, but, they both seem almost out of place in this kind of space.  
The doctor walks over to me and reaches out a hand; “You must be Mark, my name is Dr. Seo, but you can call me Johnny if you’d like. We’ll be seeing each other a lot, so I thought I’d just cut out the formalities right up front.” “Nice to meet you,” I squeak out.  
He sits down on a rolling chair opposite me, and pulls out a tablet from his lab coat pocket. “I looked over your medical records, and it looks like you’re up to date on all of your immunizations. You haven’t had a physical in about three years though, so we’ll make sure to be thorough today,” Johnny says as he swipes back and forth on his tablet.  
He puts the tablet down and rolls over to meet me. He stands and places his stethoscope in his ears, and then against my chest. “Take a deep breath in, then out. In. Out,” says Johnny softly. “Alright, sounds good, now let’s check those eyes and ears,” He says, reaching for that one device with the light on it. You know the one. He shines the light in my eyes, then puts the device in my ears. All the standard stuff. He takes my temperature, and tests my blood pressure. “Okay, now we have to get to the bend over and cough part, it’ll be quick,” He says as he backs up away from me. I slowly get off the table and drop my underwear. I can feel my face turn bright red. I shouldn’t be as nervous as I am. He’s a doctor. But I’ll be honest when I say I don’t think anyone really wants a stranger fondling them, doctor or not.  
“Okay Mark, you’re looking good. I’m going to print you out a wristband really quick, and then I’m going to send you down to the labs to do blood and urine samples,” Johnny says as he removes his gloves and picks up his tablet again. I pull up my underwear, and sit back down on the table.  
Johnny types into the tablet and a plastic wristband suddenly begins to emerge from the side. He takes it, and walks over to me, where he then ties the wristband on. It’s your standard hospital wristband; it has my name, my birthdate, and strangely, my blood type on it.  
“You are to keep this wristband on for the duration of the experiment. If for some reason it comes off, be sure to tell someone immediately. You can get changed back into your normal clothes, a nurse will come in to take you to the labs. I’ll be seeing you Mark,” Johnny says with a nod as he leaves the room.  
My heart is pounding so hard I can hear it in my head. I rip off the paper gown and stuff it into the small metal trash can. Everything in this place is white, black, metal, or a combination of the three.  
I put my clothes back on, and as I do, I check my phone; it’s 11:45 a.m. My phone battery is at 67%, it’ll die by the end of the day. I quickly open up my message app:

Lee Donghyuck:

Donghyuck. I don’t even know if you have your phone but, where are you right now? Do you know? Can you tell? I’m about to go have my blood and urine taken. What is this?

As I type the word “this” the nurse suddenly bursts into the room. I fumble with my phone, but I’m able to slip it into my pocket before she sees. “Mark? Follow me, we’re going to go to the labs and run some tests on your blood and urine,” She says beckoning me to follow her. I get up off of the table and begin walking closely behind her.  
“You haven’t eaten anything in the last 12 hours have you?” She asks. “No ma’am, I haven’t. You all told me not to,” I say, only now realizing that past my overwhelming uneasiness, I am absolutely starving. “Perfect, we don’t want anything affecting the results of your blood,” She says.  
“Did you meet Dr. Seo?” She asks. “Y-yeah I did,” I stutter. “Isn’t he just the best? He’s the one that’s been leading this whole dream research. He’s the brain behind it all, no pun intended,” She giggles. “What can you tell me about all this? The dream research I mean?” I ask, catching up so that I’m walking directly beside her. “Nothing really, I know just as much about it as you do. All of the nurses working with the participants are brand new, including me. We all started working here only a few weeks ago. All I know is SM is expanding it’s dream research into people, and that Dr. Seo is the person leading the entire project,” she says. “Why an all new team? Wouldn’t John- I mean, Dr. Seo, want people he knew working on this important experiment with him?” I ask. “I don’t know. I never really even gave it much thought,” She says.  
I look ahead, ending the conversation. I’m not even sure what else to say. She seems to be telling me the truth, I don’t know what motive she would have to lie.  
“Here we are, they’ll scan your wristband when you get in there,” She says, pointing me to a door that’s simply labeled “LABS.” She begins to turn to walk away before I catch her; “Wait, what’s your name?” I ask. She turns back to me; “It’s Sooyoung, Park Sooyoung,” She says before she quickly leaves back into the labyrinth of halls and rooms.  
I turn around as she vanishes, and swing the lab door open revealing stalls separated only by a thin wall, each with a small metal stools and the same brain diagrams as the ones in the other room.  
I pass through the doorway and am immediately greeted by a lab technician with a tablet, the same kind as the one Johnny had. “Hello. Can you hold out your wristband please?” The technician asks. I do as I’m told and a laser quickly shoots out of the tablet, scanning my wristband with an electronic beep.  
“Okay, Mark Lee, you can go over to stall number three, and an attendant will be right with you,” the technician says as he points in the direction of the stall. I shuffle over to the stall, looking around at the almost blank, partitioned room.  
I sit down in stall three, the metal stool chilling my entire body, even through my sweatpants. Who I assume to be the technician sits in front of me, her on one side of the table dividing us, I on the other. “Hi Mark, how are you today?” She asks. “I’m fine. I guess I’m just really hungry at this point,” I say. “I bet you are, but not to worry, I believe you’ll get to eat right after this,” She says as she begins opening needle packets and blood vials.  
“Now I’m just going to need you to lift up your sleeve really quick, this will only take a minute, I promise,” She smiles. I do as I’m told, and soon a needle is put into my arm, and the attendant is taking vile after vile of blood. I hate this kind of thing, but for some reason, I can never bring myself to look away.  
Just as quickly as she put the needle in, she takes it out, quickly wrapping up the injection site with cotton balls and medical tape. “You’re all set Mark. Now, here is a cup. I just want you to fill it up with urine to this line,” She says as she points to a thin black line about half way up the cup. “There’s a bathroom right next door, when you’re done, you’ll see a cubbie you can put it in. An escort will be waiting for you once you’re done to tell you what to do next,” she explains.  
I get up to leave before she calls out to me; “And Mark. Good luck with everything. Make sure to note what you find in there. In the dreams I mean,” she says. I keep walking.  
I exit the labs and turn right into the bathroom. The bathroom matches the garage; floor to ceiling black marble that feels out of place in this seemingly normal doctor’s office. Even the toilet is made out of thick, glittering black marble, giving the room the feeling of being inside a black hole.  
I pee into the cup, and place it into the cubbie wherein I immediately hear the cubbie open and close from the other side. I look at my phone again; 12:05.  
I wash my hands and exit the bathroom where a person who is dressed similarly to Kun is waiting. “Hi Mark, are you ready to go?” He beams. “Go where exactly?” I ask. “To eat, and to talk, I know you probably have a lot of questions,” he says, “Come with me.”

Ch. 6

The man leads me back the way Kun had brought me in. Back through the waiting room, back down the hall of doors, and back into the elevator.  
The man pushes the same, lone button, and like before, the elevator lurches. I still can’t tell if we’re moving up or down, left or right. For all I know, the elevator could be going absolutely nowhere, and the doors would open to reveal the same door-laden hallway.  
The man is quieter than Kun, he stands erectly beside me in the elevator looking directly forward at the door, his hands crossed behind his back. I fiddle with my phone in my pocket, and pick at a loose string on my sweatshirt.  
Eventually, the door of the elevator ticks open, revealing a hallway of the same color and material; black marble. The look of the long, dark hallway that is dimly lit with soft yellow lights sends a chill up my spine. This whole experience has put me at unease. “This way,” says the man as he exits the elevator, beckoning me to follow him.  
The hallway is again, coated with doors, only this time instead of numbers, the doors have names on them. Door after door, covered in names that begin with “Dr.” or end with “PhD.” We eventually turn a corner where the doors seem to continue in all directions. The halls are so quiet, that clicking of the man’s shoes in front of me seems ear-shattering.  
After what seems like minutes of walking down the unending corridor, the man suddenly stops in front of a door unlike any of the rest; Dr. Qian Kun. “Here we are. Good day Mark,” the man says, quickly turning away from me and swiftly walking back the way we came.  
I take a deep breath and look around, I could just run if I really wanted to. This is the first time I’ve been alone since I’ve gotten here. As if I know the way out.  
I knock on the door before me, and before I can even get a second knock in, the door swings open revealing Kun on the other side. “Hello Mark, lovely to see you again,” He smiles. “H-hi,” I say as I stand there motionless. “Well don’t just stand out there, please, come in, come in,” He says, waving his arm to welcome me in.  
I step through the doorway and into a room I certainly didn’t expect; The room is a soft yellow, and small lamps glow on every surface. The furniture reminds of of those you’d see in your grandmother’s house, with old dark heavy wood, and large eccentric arm chairs. The walls are lined with oil paintings of ponds and parks and golden forests filled with animals. On the far side of the room, there is a book shelf filled to the brim with books of all kinds from advanced psychological journals, to children’s books.  
“Come, sit, sit,” Kun says, inviting me to one of the ornate chairs that fill his office. “I bet you’re starving, what are some of your favorite foods?” He asks as he sits in the chair across from me. “Oh um, I don’t know. I’m kind’ve boring. I like chicken...watermelon...umm. Oh! I love cookies and cream ice cream, that’s always been my favorite since I was a kid,” I say. “That sounds like no problem! I’ll have them bring the food here so we can chat for a while. How about that?” Kun asks as he types on a tablet he produces from the drawer beside him. I nod and go back to picking at the string on my sweatshirt.  
“Would you like some tea while you wait?” Kun asks, rising from his chair and turning on a kettle that sits on his desk. “Oh umm, sure. Thank you,” I say. Kun sits back in his chair and crosses his legs. “Now I bet you have some questions for me. This must all seem...strange. I know the media certainly thought so,” he chuckles. “Y-yeah, I mean, to be honest, a lot of people think this is just a publicity stunt,” I say. He laughs softly; “And what kind of publicity does the public think we need?” I sit for a moment, not quite knowing what to say, “I don’t know. I guess the world just hasn’t heard from SM in a few years, and now this. It’s like something out of a movie. It’s like something made up,” I say.  
“I can assure you it’s not made up,” Kun says with a smile.”In fact, it’s all too real.” “So what is this all really about? Is it true? You know….that you all discovered how to enter others’ dreams?” I ask. “Yes Mark. We did. We did it on those apes and dogs a number of years back, and now….and now we feel safe enough to do the same on humans. We hope to find something a bit more nuanced in you all. The human brain is nothing short of a work of art Mark. Whether you believe some divine being gave it to us or not, it is something that could never be recreated by human hands. A piece of primal machinery that is unmatched by any computer that has, or will ever exist.”  
“Do you believe in a God Mark?” Kun asks. “I think so. I mean, I can’t prove anything, I don’t think anyone can regardless if they believe or not. But I’d like to think, that somewhere, out there in everything there’s ever been, that someone, something, is watching over us. We just can’t be alone in all this,” I say. “That would be the most terrifying realization wouldn’t it?” Kun asks. “That we’re floating alone amongst all the dust and primordial soup.”  
He suddenly gets up to retrieve two small yellow tea cups from behind his desk. Each one is decorated with tiny, ornate, pink flowers. He places tea bags in each cup and pours hot water from the kettle over them. “Do you take sugar in your tea Mark?” He asks. “Yes please. Two spoonfuls should be plenty,” I say. He pulls out a tiny jar of sugar from the same place he retrieved the cups and begins spooning sugar into each.  
He walks carefully over to me, so as not to spill, and hands me the cup. “Careful, it’s hot,” He says. He returns to his chair, stirring the tea all the while blowing the liquid slowly.  
“So,” I say breaking the silence. Kun stops blowing on his tea to meet my eyes. “What will this...experiment be like?” “What do you mean Mark?” Kun asks. “Are you all going to like...prod my brain or something?” I ask nervously. Kun breaks into a smile as he goes to sip his tea. “No Mark. It’s nothing like that. You’ll be introduced to the equipment soon enough, but I can assure you that no prodding of the brain will be happening. We use a system of electricity to connect the neurons of the participants. We study the firing rates and what makes each person tick. We’re trying to see what the limits of dream therapy may be. What the possibilities of neurological medicine may be unlocked through REM sleep, especially through dreams,” Kun says.  
Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. “Ah! That must be your food!” Kun exclaims as he rises up from his chair to answer the door. He opens the door only enough for him to grab the tray from the other person. He thanks the person and gently closes the door behind him. On his way back over to me, he pulls over a small coffee table from the other side of the room, and places it in front of me. He sets down the ornate silver tray before me; it’s entire surface is covered with food, an entire cornish hen, mashed potatoes with a generous topping of gravy, small carrots of all colors, a roll with butter, a separate tray with a tall stack of watermelon slices, and in a petite bowl; cookies and cream ice cream. I grab the silverware that is laying at the bottom of the tray and begin to cut the chicken.  
“I would start with the ice cream Mark, you don’t want it to melt,” Kun says as he sits back down. “I won’t tell anyone you ate dessert before the main course, I promise,” he whispers.  
I do as I’m told, not like I had any complaints. “Anyway, where were we?” Kun asks himself. “Ah yes, dream therapy. Do you know what empathy is Mark?” He asks. I quickly swallow a mouthful of ice cream, my head pounding from the cold. “I do now. It’s when you take the perceptions of others right?” “More than that,” Kun says. “It’s the ability to understand not only the situation, but the feelings of another. To be vulnerable enough to step into their shoes,” he says as he stirs his tea.  
“Why through dreams though? Why this way?” I ask. Kun sips his tea before answering me; “Because dreams walk the perfect line between fact and fiction. Because the ability to heal may lie in this dream-space that can be manipulated for good. Have you ever had a dream that felt so real, so deeply vivid, that when you woke up, for a moment, you weren’t sure if you were still dreaming?” He asks.  
I think for a moment, scraping the bowl that once contained the ice cream. “I guess. I’m sure I have. I don’t remember many of my dreams, if any at all,” I respond.  
“What is the most terrifying dream you’ve ever had Mark? One you’ll never forget? One you cannot forget?” Kun asks, placing his cup on the coffee table and leaning in closer. I don’t even have to think, I know. “When I was about 11 or 12, I had a dream that I was sitting on this dock. It wasn’t like a normal dock, this dock was alone, not attached to any shore, or cliff. It was just, floating, in this ice-blue water. All of a sudden, I fall from the dock, only I realize the dock is high off of the water, so I just fall and fall, for what seems like an eternity. I finally crash into the water, and it’s cold. It was so cold. And I can’t bring myself to swim up to the surface so I just sink, deeper and deeper, until the sun is just a pinprick. And then I woke up. I don’t know why, but that dream has stuck with me all these years,” I say.  
“In dreams, we exist in a world of extravagant fantasy, but never once to we perceive it to be anything but the truth, anything but reality. I believe dreams hold deep subconscious meaning that we fail to ever address. Dreams are your brain trying to sort things out. Your brain trying to make sense of all the information you’ve ever been given, truth or otherwise. I believe there is some truth to your dream. To why the water was so cold, and why you couldn’t get yourself out. Why you just kept sinking,” Kun says, leaning back in his chair.  
“This is why dreams. Dreams are the purest, and most unfiltered versions of us. Of what we really think. About our deepest fears, and our deepest desires.”  
I look down at my food, pushing the carrots around my plate. “But aren’t some dreams just nonsense? I mean, we have no control over our dreams. How do we know that we’ll find anything...important?” I ask.  
“I don’t know. And that probably is far from the answer you’re looking for, but I have no way of knowing what you will find in the minds of others, and if any of it will seem of any importance to you. I will tell you, the things you will find won’t always be the most pleasant. Dreams aren’t the only things you find when you close your eyes now are they? But fear, fear is one of the most bonding experiences you can have with another person. But know that there is nothing you are necessarily ‘finding’ in these dreams Mark. Everything is just as important as the last,” Kun says.  
“Now Mark, can I ask you something? And I hope I’m not intruding, but I feel as if this question says a lot about a person. What are the three most important relationships in your life right now, and why?” He asks.  
I sit for a moment, pretending to think even though I knew immediately. “I think that would be my mom, my dad, and my best friend, Donghyuck,” I say. “That’s funny,” He chuckles, “Another participant here is named Donghyuck, what are the odds?”  
I laugh back, being wary to reveal that it’s the same Donghyuck we’re both referring to. “Anyway, I apologize Mark, please continue,” Kun says, leaning back in his armchair.  
“Well, I’m not quite sure what else to say. I love my mom, but my dad was diagnosed with cancer a few months back, and she hasn’t been the same since. And my dad, he’s fighting, even though we both know he’ll lose. He’s the one that told me to apply for this thing.” I begin to tear up. I never called to tell him I made it. Kun grabs a nearby box of tissues, and passes them towards me. “I’m sorry about your father. I can’t even begin to comprehend how incredibly hard this must be for you and your family. But tell me about him. What is he like? What are some of your fondest memories of him?” Kun asks.  
I begin to fold and unfold my used tissue over and over again as I think. “He’s super smart, he studied the brain too. But he’s not just book smart either. He taught me so many things you could never learn from books, and I know he’ll be gone before he can teach me everything he knows, but I’m at least grateful for what he did. He was always so supportive of everything I did. As a kid I would always change my mind about what I wanted to do. When I was nine I played five different sports at once because I just couldn’t decide, and he supported me all the way. My favorite thing to do with him was when I was a kid, we would drive into the mountains just to look at the leaves change color in the fall. It’s funny actually thinking about it now, he would always tell me to look at the leaves, and how beautiful it all was. He would say that the trees were dying, but that death didn’t have to be grey, it didn’t have to be sad. Hm. I haven’t thought about that time in years, but everything comes back around I guess.”  
“Do you believe there is beauty in death Mark?” Kun asks. “Maybe. Even if it’s not always easy to see,” I say.  
“Everything dies, in one way or another. It’s funny, even though we know this, it always comes to us as a shock. But death changes things. It always feels like it’s for the worst, but death makes us see things, or appreciate things we didn’t before. It makes us fill the empty space with things we never thought to fill it with. I guess maybe in that way it’s beautiful. There is beauty in everything Mark, you just have to look hard enough,” Kun says, standing and collecting his tea cup. “Are you finished with your tea and lunch?” He asks. “Oh yeah, thanks by the way,” I say back.  
“I would love to chat more Mark, but you have to get settled in your room, so I’ll let you go. But if you should ever need to talk to me, I’m always ready to lend an ear,” Kun says, leading me over to the door.  
“There is an escort just beyond this door, he will lead you to your room. I’ll see you soon Mark.” Kun swings open the door where the man from earlier is waiting. “Goodbye Mark,” Kun says as he closes the door behind me.  
I turn around and put my hand in the rapidly closing doorway; “Wait!” I say. “What is it Mark?” Kun asks in a concerned tone. I lean in close, almost till my head is back inside his office. “H-how long am I going to be here?” I ask.  
Kun looks over my shoulder, and back to me; “Those answers are not for me to give. But I assure you, all your logistical answers will be given tonight, along with the rest of the participants. Now I do have to wish you good day Mark, I’ll be seeing you.”  
The door softly clicks shut, and within moments, a hand is placed on my shoulder.

Ch. 7

The man, only identified as “E23” on his nametag takes me further down the hallway of doors. Further down, we eventually reach what appears to be another elevator, only this one is completely metal, and three to four times larger than any average elevator.  
We enter, and for the first time, there are multiple options for floors on multiple buttons. The buttons are listed 1-8, and E23 presses 8. The elevator shakes, and with a concerning creak, it begins its slow ascent to the eighth floor.  
Again, the man is silent, and to an extent stoic, never laying an eye on me, or anywhere besides straight ahead. The door eventually slides open, the metal shaking as it is pried from each other.  
We enter the floor of what appears to be a past warehouse, only now, the space is filled with desks, and computers, and robots with crane-like arms drilling screws into machines I don’t recognize.  
We walk amongst the people at work, ones who are too busy typing away at their computers or talking at large wooden tables to notice us passing through.  
We reach the other side of the room and enter a stairwell accessible by a password typed in by E23. We enter the stairwell and to my surprise, there are stairs leading up; stairs leading up to a floor beyond the top.  
We begin ascending the stairs, floor after floor we climb, eventually reaching yet another door. This time, instead of a scanner for a pass or a pin pad for a password, there is a glowing blue screen next to the door. “Give me your hand,” E23 asks. I outstretch my hand to him, and he grabs it, placing my palm against the screen. He hold it there as the screen buzzes and flashes. Only seconds later, E23, releases my hand, and the screen flashes up a quick block of text:

Welcome Participant No. 9, Mark Lee

The sound of a lock turning emanates from the door, and E23 quickly opens it and leads me in behind him. Behind the door is not something I expect, a living room, decorated with book shelves, couches with blankets and throw pillows, and lamps that cover every end table. The entire far wall is one big window; and for the first time today, I have a view of the outside world; a vast field of dying, tall grass, and farther than that, snow-capped mountains that are accompanied by purple clouds hanging over their peaks. The ceilings are high, revealing what looks like a second floor above. The left wall is dominated by a roaring stone fireplace that reaches the very top of the immense ceilings.  
“Follow me,” E23 says, taking a left and leading me up a white staircase. “Your room will be on this side, B. Your room in particular is B-9, just like your participant number,” he says as he leads me past a smaller living space and down a hallway with doors marked B-7 through B-15. We stop in front of B-9, and E23 produces a small plastic cube from his pocket. “This is your fob, it will lock and unlock your room, and your room alone. Do not lose it, they can be tricky to replace. This is where I leave you Mark. Inside your room you will find three sets of white scrubs, these are to be what you will wear everyday until the completion of the experiment. If your scrubs should get dirty, there is a laundry shoot on the far side of your room. You will also find a phone on your bedside table. You may make up to three 20-minute phone calls a day. For the remainder of today you may rest, dinner will be served at 6 p.m. in the dining portion of your dorm. An alarm is automatically set to go off at 7a.m. every morning. Any questions regarding the dorm?” E23 asks. “Where is everyone else?” I ask. “Thus far, only one other participant has arrived at the dorms, participant number 3, Nakamoto Yuta. Is there anything else I can help you with?” He asks. “No, I guess not, thank you,” I say, turning around to unlock my room. “Good day Mark, I’ll be seeing you,” E23 says as he gives a nod, and walks back the way we came.  
I hold the cube up to the door handle, and the lock lights up green and a buzz sounds from the other side. I open the door to reveal the most luxurious room I’ve ever been in; the ceilings are high again, this time adorned with a gold and crystal chandelier. The king sized bed matches with orange golden and cream sheets that are accompanied by more pillows than I can count. The bed frame is made from dark-stained wood, and is ornately decorated with small leaves and vines. The floors are a dark wood as well, and are covered in the center of the room by a large, white rug. On the opposite side of the room there is a floor to ceiling window, much like the one in the living room. Connected is an equally extravagant bathroom, one with gold-lined mirrors, and a large claw-foot tub, big enough to fit three of me in it. A fluffy, white robe hangs behind the door.  
I head back to the bedroom, and find the crisp, white, scrubs E23 had mentioned on the edge of the bed, along with a pair of matching pajamas. I unfold a pair of the scrubs to find my name beautifully woven in gold calligraphy on the breast.  
I jump onto the bed with a huff. It’s plush, and the linens are beyond soft; they definitely spared no expense with this experiment. I’m surprised at the over the top extravagance. This whole experiment is just sleeping and we’re all to come out of this millionaires, this is a win all around.  
I stare up at the ceiling, my eyes drinking in every feature of the intricate crown molding that hugs the perimeters of the room. Suddenly, I hear something, from somewhere with in the dorm; music. Not just any music, opera music.  
I sit up and slowly head towards my door. I put my ear to the door and the vibrations from the voices gently vibrate my cheek. I open my door, just barely; enough so I can peer one eye down the hallway. The music is coming from downstairs. It’s big, and beautiful, and old, and grand.  
I open my door all the way, quickly turning back around to grab my cube key from off the bedside table, then returning to the hallway. I tiptoe down the hallway, every step getting closer to the almost seductive music.  
I peer over the balcony, and down into the living room. There is where I find him; Yuta. He is draped over one of the couches in nothing but a towel. In one hand he has a drink, and in the other, a book. The music is pouring out of a record player I hadn’t noticed earlier.  
I turn to make my way down the stairs. My stomach is turning, I’ve never been the best with strangers, especially not with almost-naked strangers.  
I reach the bottom stair and peer around the corner to where his back is facing me. “H-hello,” I peep. He doesn’t move, my voice disappearing in the onslaught of notes. I take a deep breath and approach him. Before I get within five feet, he puts his drink down and suddenly turns to me. He’s nothing short of stunning, with a sculpted face and long brown hair that almost hits his jawline. His beauty continues as he flashes me a smirk, revealing his perfect set of white teeth.  
He picks up a remote from the coffee table and presses a button that turns off the record player, a feature I’ve never seen on such a device. He turns his entire body around to face me. The rest of his figure matches his face; beautifully curved and taught in all the right places, his shoulders still glistening with water.  
I can feel a lump in my throat forming as he opens his mouth to speak; “I could feel your eyes on me,” he smirks. “Hi, I’m Yuta. Nakamoto Yuta,” he says reaching out a hand to me. “I-I’m Mark Lee,” I stutter, taking his hand. He places his other hand on top of mine, sandwiching it between both of his. “You have such soft hands,” he whispers. He looks up at me, locking his eyes with mine. There is something so sickeningly seductive about him, almost as if he’s begging me to reach out and touch, to reach out and dare.  
“Sit down with me Mark,” he says patting a spot next to him. I cross in front of him, my thighs brushing his exposed knees. He keeps his eyes locked on me as I carefully sit next to him. He places his hand on my thigh and squeezes it. “So, tell me Mark, what made you end up here?” He asks in almost a whisper, as he looks me up and down. “Um, my dad wanted me to, so I just applied. I never thought I’d actually get in,” I chuckle nervously.  
“Your dad huh?” Yuta smirks, squeezing my thigh. “Do you want to be here? Or is this just daddy’s wish?” He asks. “Both,” I say. “He brought it up to me, but I wanted to do it. For me and for him.”  
“That’s sweet,” Yuta says, removing his hand from my thigh and placing it behind his head. “I’m not even gonna lie, I applied for the money, and if a little fame comes out of this too, I won’t be upset. I mean, I’ve literally gained over 5,000 followers on Instagram since the announcement last night,” Yuta says pulling out his phone.  
“Y-you brought your phone?” I ask. “Yeah. You’re not gonna snitch on me are you?” He laughs. “No. I brought mine too,” I whisper. “Why whisper? Do you think they’re watching us or something?” He chuckles, getting up from the couch to pour himself another drink.  
“I just feel like we can’t be too careful,” I say, scanning the room. “Well, if they are watching us, I know they’re gonna like what they see in my room!” Yuta yells.  
He begins to walk off, presumably to his room and I follow behind. “Do you know when the rest of the participants are getting here?” I ask. Yuta begins to climb the stairs, taking a sip from his glass. “Listen, I don’t know anything more than you do. I’m just here to relax on SM’s dime, collect the cash, and hopefully have a little fun along the way,” he says. “Fun? What kind of fun are you hoping to find?” I ask, continuing to follow him up the stairs.  
“I’m not sure yet. But the fun will find me if I don’t find it,” he says. We reach his room and he unlocks his door. He turns to me before closing the door behind him; “You tell me when the others get here okay? I’m gonna have a few more drinks and then probably take a nap. It was enchanting meeting you Mark,” Yuta says, kissing my hand. I’ll be seeing you,” He winks as he closes the door.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Over the next few hours, the participants slowly trickled into the dorm, some alone, and some in small groups.  
First was a man that was no more than a few years older than me, with richly red hair, as if made out of a red velvet cake. His hair was accented with golden pins that complemented his cherry locks. He was beautiful as well, almost even more beautiful than Yuta, with a sharp jaw, and pouty lips. He wore ripped black jeans with an army green button up tucked into it. He said nothing as he passed me in the living room. His eyes darted over to meet mine momentarily then back ahead of him as he was shown his room.  
Next were a group of three boys around my age, maybe a bit younger, all with a more beautiful smile than the next. They were loud, louder than you would assume three strangers would be with each other. As they went upstairs to their rooms, you could hear them shuffling in and out of each other’s room’s, laughing and teasing as they went.  
After about two hours of boys and men of various ages flowing into the shared dorm space, Donghyuck finally showed up. He was wearing his old baseball cap he’s worn since he was a kid, and carrying his huge winter jacket in both hands.  
I rush over to him, almost knocking him over as I greet him. It’s almost cathartic to see a familiar face in such a strange place.  
“Donghyuck! Dude I am beyond excited to see you!” I exclaim. “I mean, who wouldn’t be am I right?” He says, flexing his arm and giving his meek bicep a kiss. “Whatever,” I say pushing him away.  
“Ahem.” Donghyuck’s escort appears behind him. “Oh, sorry,” I say as I move out of the way. I trail behind Donghyuck and his escort as he is lead to his room, No. 14. The escort leaves after giving the same speech to Donghyuck as my escort gave to me. I follow Donghyuck into his room and close the door behind us. Donghyuck sits onto his bed and looks around the room, admiring the lush and extravagant surroundings.  
“This shit is crazy man. Like, all of it. This has got to be a Punk’d reboot, it’s just gotta be,” Donghyuck says as he stands to walk over to the bathroom. “I mean, just look at this!” He says shaking the plush bathroom robe in my face. “Dude, I know. This whole thing, from the beginning till now has been unreal. I’m still shocked we were both chosen, I mean what are the odds? Like a zillion to one?” I ask.  
“Did you have your blood and piss taken too?” Donghyuck asks as he rummages through the bathroom cabinet. “Yeah. You know, now that I think about it, we never even signed anything to allow them to be doing any of that. Right?” I say. “I’m not sure. I just want to know how long I’m gonna be here, cause I’ve got a midterm on Tuesday and it’s like 30% of my grade,” Donghyuck says. “Well apparently they’re supposed to give us answers tonight, I just really don’t know what to expect,” I say.  
“It’s 4:30 now, I’m gonna take a shower and maybe just lay down for a bit before dinner. I’ll see you later okay?” I say, heading for the door. “Mark?” Donghyuck calls as I’m leaving. I turn around and meet his eyes as he sits on the corner of his bed; “What did you say was your most terrifying dream?”

Ch. 8

6 o’clock came around and escorts came to retrieve everyone from their rooms and gathered us into the main dining area. The dining room was overly grand just as the rest of the dorm was, with high ceilings and a chandelier that greatly dwarfed the ones found in our individual rooms.  
The table was made out of a dark stained wood and was long enough to fit all 15 of us plus more. The china was beautiful with floral accents around the rims. The table was lined with petite yet tall armchairs covered in light pink velour accented with gold trimmings.  
This was the first time I was seeing all of the participants in one space, and that’s when it dawned on me that there wasn’t one woman amongst us. The participants were in totality young men, the oldest of us seeming to be a shorter man no older than 25 or 26 that had shyly introduced himself to me as Taeil before retreating to his room. I only found it strange because so many people from around the world had applied, and yet not one woman was chosen.  
The escorts silently shuffle the 15 of us into the luxurious space and pull out a chair for each of us to sit. The escorts exit the room for a moment, and we all are sat in a deafening silence. Some look down and pick at their jeans, and some trace their gaze along the ornate crown molding that lines the ceiling.  
Eventually, a voice sounds from the front door. A voice almost comfortingly familiar. “Good evening everyone!” The voice says as a figure turns the corner. It’s Kun, followed by Johnny and another tall young man I don’t recognize. Johnny and the young man take their seats at the end of the table while Kun remains standing with the same smile glued to his face.  
“Well you all are a quiet bunch aren’t you? Together at least. I know some of you love to talk…” Kun says shooting a glance to Yuta. “It’s so good to see you all though, even if it’s only been a few hours,” Kun says, scanning our faces for any kind of response. He seems to sense that none of us are brave enough to pipe up, so he moves on. “Well, I’m sure you all are hungry, and exhausted, so let’s feast!” Kun exclaims. Suddenly the escorts return with platter upon platter, and bowl upon bowl of food.  
The room is soon drenched in wonderful smells and aromas. We all sit dumbfounded at the continued extravagance before Kun speaks again: “Well no need to sit around, please dig in!”  
We all look at each other, sharing in the same coyness, before a hand finally shoots into the space above the food and begins to serve. The rest of us follow, quietly murmuring to each other to pass this dish and to pass another, until everyone’s plates are almost overflowing with rich delicacies.  
We all eat in continued silence, the only sounds being that of silverware clinking plates and soft whispers between new acquaintances.  
The unnamed young man flashes quick glances towards me, as if he’s about to say something, but he never does.  
I lean over to Donghyuck who had sat next to me; “Hey, do you know that guy?” I whisper, pointing to the mystery man. “No, I’ve never seen him in my life,” Donghyuck responds through a stuffed mouth. “He won’t stop looking at me,” I whisper. “I don’t know what to tell you man, maybe he likes you. Maybe you’ll come out of all this not single for once,” He quietly giggles.  
A few minutes into the painful awkwardness, Kun pipes up again: “So, I’m sure you all have numerous questions about all of this and why you’re here. So to answer these questions I have invited Dr. Johnny Seo to talk with you all about this experiment.”  
Johnny wipes his mouth with a napkin and places it down onto his lap before speaking; “I am overjoyed to see you all here today. This experiment has been years in the making, longer than the public even knows. This project started long before the dogs, or the apes, or even SM. As a child, I saw my grandfather taken away by dementia. He eventually didn’t know me, or his wife, or even himself. It tore my family apart, but brought my thoughts together. I graduated from Stanford when I was 17, and since then I have worked my way up to be the head of the Dream Lab within SM. The Dream Lab didn’t always exist though. I fought to get the funding to even have it considered by Lee Soo Man.”  
For context, Lee Sooman is the CEO of SM Labs. He is one of the richest and most controversial people in the world, and yet not much is known about him. He’s super reclusive and rarely if at all gives interviews. The last time he spoke publicly was with the unveiling of the Dream Lab years ago.  
“I believed, and still believe that the secret to curing brain diseases and mental handicaps are through dreams.” Johnny continues. “Our dreams are our brain trying to make sense of the information we’re given. Our brain is like a computer, and while we sleep, it tries to reboot itself by sorting through the binary code it creates through actions and experiences. So that’s where this experiment that you all are a part of came to be.”  
“Wait a minute,” a voice sounds out. “Ah yes, Chittaphon, go ahead,” says Johnny. “Okay well, first off, I go by Ten, so write that down. Secondly, if we’re just doing this to fix people’s brains, then why call it Empathy?”  
“Now that I’ll admit, that title is mainly just for the marketing. As the experiment requires you all to explore the extent of each other’s dreams, and try to manipulate them. It is in a sense a completely emphatic experience. We needed a vague title for this project that would intrigue the public so we landed on Empathy,” Johnny says.  
“A-and what about the ‘NCT’ part?” I ask meekly. Johnny darts his eyes back over to me; “It stands for Neo Culture Technology. That is what all of this is Mark. New technology that will unite the medical field across the world. One that will solve some of the biggest and most devastating illnesses there are. That is NCT. That is you all.”  
“Wait, wait. Back up. We’re going to be manipulating each other’s minds?” Another participant asks. “I’m sorry, I’m still remembering faces, could you tell me your name again?” Johnny asks. “It’s Jaehyun. Jung Jaehyun,” The man says. “Well Jaehyun, that’s part of the goal. That’s what these human trials are all about. To see if we can influence the brain. In the long run we hope to be able to be able to manipulate the brain in the therapeutic sense. To rewire the way the damaged brain processes information, so that it can process in a healthy way again,” Johnny explains.  
“And what if this technology falls into the wrong hands? I mean, this is basically mind control,” Instigates a voice from the very end of the table. Everyone’s faces turn in unison; it’s the man with the red hair. He is slumped down in his chair with his arms crossed, eyes unendingly staring at Johnny.  
“Well Taeyong, I guess we should only hope that that never happens. But I can assure you SM Labs is well secured. Nothing is to get out. Nothing,” Johnny says.  
The silence returns as everyone ponders over the stark possibility Taeyong had presented. What if this technology fell into the wrong hands?  
“Well thank you so much Dr. Seo for your incredible work, and I’m sure I speak for all of the participants when I say it’s an honor to be here working for such an amazing cause!” Exclaims Kun, standing up from his chair. “Now, I have brought another guest here with me today,” Kun says gesturing over to the unknown man from before. “This is Wong Yukhei. He will be the main technological facilitator for this experiment, as well as the person who has hand-created everyone’s schedules from the second you all were brought here till the second you leave our wonderful facilities.”  
“Now, Yukhei will be giving you the general overview of what your time here will look like, so everyone pay close attention,” Kun says, sitting down.  
Yukhei is young, probably older than me given his sheer size. Even seated his height and build are apparent. “H-hello,” he speaks in a deep but timid voice. “As Kun said, my name is Wong Yukhei and I will be your point-man when it comes to any questions regarding the details of the experiment. I will also be facilitating the experiment along with Dr. Seo and his team. So I guess I’ll just jump right into it,” he says, taking out a file folder filled with papers. “So as I’m sure your escorts informed you, your alarms are set to go off at 7 a.m. each morning. I understand this is early, but we have a lot to do. Today is day one of 365 as this experiment will conclude one year from now.”  
Gasps fill the air, and the energy in the room becomes hostile. “One year from now, you can’t be serious?!” Taeyong yells from the opposite end of the table. “Yeah, I mean, we don’t have to do this right? It’s not like we signed a contract or anything?” Ten asks.  
“Well in fact, that’s where I’m afraid you are mistaken,” Yukhei says shuffling through his papers and pulling out a single sheet. “When you all applied for this experiment, you signed your electronic signature by entering your name, it says right here in the fine print of that webpage: ‘By signing this electronic document I am therein signing my rights over to SM Labs Incorporated for the duration of the Neo Culture Technology: Empathy experiment, if I am chosen, which is to conclude on November 2nd 2XXX.’” Yukhei reads out.  
Everyone leans back into their seats, not knowing quite what to say. “As I was saying, this experiment will conclude one year from today. The next two months or so will be devoted to mental and physical training as you will be asleep for up to 10 months. This training will also include dream testing where you each will learn and try out the dream pods for small stints of time. Upon completion of this experiment, it is up to you all individually to sort out how the payment will be not only transferred but also allotted. Any questions?” Yukhei asks.  
“Yeah,” I pipe up. “Why us?” I ask. He is quiet for a moment, as he and Johnny quickly exchange glances. “It was completely random Mark,” Yukhei says in a matter-of-fact tone.  
“So tomorrow, and everyday after, you are to all wake up at 7 a.m. and report for breakfast in this dining area dressed in your scrubs that you should have found upon arrival to your rooms. I don’t know if this has been mentioned yet, but there’s no need to wear any shoes to the lab. After you are all done eating, you will be escorted down the stairs from which you came earlier today, to the lab. You will be given further instructions once you arrive to the lab each day. We hope to finish everyday around 5 p.m. and from there you will have dinner and down time. After dinner you are all free to do whatever you’d like,” Yukhei says.  
“Speaking of, is everyone finishing up?” Says Kun. No one had touched their plate since Yukhei began speaking. We all nod our heads and the escorts begin to take our plates away.  
“This has been so fun, all of us having dinner together. The three of us won’t be joining you hereafter, but I cannot wait to see you all form your own little family unit while you’re here,” Kun says, nearly ripping his cheeks from his wide smile.  
“Now make sure you all get plenty of rest, the real work starts tomorrow and we will be seeing you then!” Kun exclaims as he, Johnny, and Yukhei get out of their seats.  
The three begin shaking hands with all of us, murmuring small sentiments and wishing us well. Yukhei gets to me and shakes my hand with an unexpected firmness. He pats the top of my hand with his free hand and looks me directly in the eye. There is something almost unnerving about his gaze. A gaze with intent. He releases his grip, and I realize he’s left something behind.  
He heads for the door following Kun and Johnny. He looks back at me one last time before disappearing around the corner.  
All at once it’s just the 15 of us sitting around the table, not knowing quite what to do next. I tuck my hands almost completely under the table and unclench my hand. To my surprise, it’s a small folded piece of paper with the words “OPEN IN BATHROOM” written on it.  
“Well, I’m gonna grab myself a drink if anyone would like to join me,” Yuta says as he rises from his seat and flashes a quick wink to a participant I don’t know the name of. Almost everyone gets up and follows after him.  
I get up, but instead of heading to the living room with the rest of the participants, I hurriedly head upstairs to my room.  
As I’m hustling out of the dining area, I suddenly lose my footing and I crash down to the floor, the note flying out of my hand and landing across the room. Everyone begins to laugh, and Donghyuck runs over to me to help me up. “Watch where you’re going,” a voice from above says. I look up, it’s Taeyong. He’s holding the note in his hand. Donghyuck gets me to my feet, and suddenly Taeyong and I are face to face.  
“Don’t want to hurt yourself before your first day. Isn’t that right?” He asks, extending the note to me. “Yeah. I’ll watch my step next time,” I say, taking the note from him.  
I quickly head out the room and up the stairs, and Donghyuck follows closely behind me; “Mark are you okay? Why are you in such a rush? What’s that in your hand?” I get to my door and turn around to him; “Hey, I’ll be down in a minute, I don’t think the food is sitting right with me okay?” “Oh okay man. Um, if you need anything just tell me, I’ll be downstairs with everyone else,” Donghyuck replies as he backs down the hallway.  
I unlock my room and quickly close the door behind me. I shuffle into the bathroom and close that door as well. I close the lid to the toilet and sit down, staring at the unopened note in my hand.  
I gulp the lump in my throat and begin unfolding the paper between my clammy hands. Written in small, almost illegible letters in the center of the paper is a long series of numbers:

00100000 01100101 01101110 01101111 01101000 01110000 00100000 01101011 01101111 01101111 01110100 00101110 01100111 01101110 01101001 01101000 01100011 01110100 01100001 01110111 00100000 01100101 01110010 00100111 01111001 01100101 01101000 01110100 00100000  
-Y

My heart was now beating so hard I thought it might explode all together. Yukhei obviously knew something I didn’t, but why me? I’ve never seen the guy in my life and yet here he was, giving me messages I knew nothing about.

It was the first day, and already things were not as they seemed.

Ch. 9

I put the note in my pocket and go over to the sink. I turn on the faucet and splash the ice-cold water on my face. This ironically feels like a dream. Like any moment I could wake up and nothing will have changed. I’ll be back in my apartment and nothing from this experience will ever have been real. But it is real. It’s realer than anything I’ve ever done.  
I pat my face off with a towel and leave the bathroom. I need to call my dad. I never even got to tell him I made it in. I go to pull my phone out from under the mattress; I had hid it there before I went to dinner.  
My hand searches, feeling the baseboard from top to bottom. I begin to panic. Maybe it just slipped further under the bed than I had thought. I begin to push the mattress off the baseboard. It’s incredibly heavy, especially with all of the blankets and duvets on top of it. I eventually get the mattress off, and onto the floor; no phone.  
I look under the bed, no phone. I begin to throw my sheets and pillows everywhere until my room is just piles and piles of linens and sheets. My phone is nowhere to be found.  
I guess I’ll have to make my call on their phone. I walk over to the old landline that sits atop my bedside table. It’s out of place in this modern, and luxurious space. It is old and beige, with the iconic curly wire attaching the phone to the mount.  
I pick it up, and hold it to my ear, the classic rapid beeping droning on. I type my dad’s number in, hopefully he’s awake, and well enough to answer. The phone rings for not too long until the line picks up; “Hello?” The line answers. “Dad, it’s me, Mark. I’m calling from the Lab phone,” I say. “Oh Mark! It’s you! I’ve been waiting for your call all day! Everyone at the hospital can’t stop talking about how you made the dream team! Literally! I’m still in shock,” He says. “I am too. What are the chances?” I joke. “Tell me everything, beginning to now,” He begs.  
“Well, I just applied, like everyone else. I made Donghyuck apply too, and he made it, which made my jaw drop to be honest. And then they picked me up, and brought me here. They ran some medical tests on me, nothing crazy, and I met this psychologist, who’s nice and all, but he also kinda gives me the heebee jeebees. I don’t know, this whole thing gives me the heebee jeebees. Like just now, this guy who works here, his name is Yukhei; he gives me this note that has a bunch of numbers on it that I don’t understand. I hadn’t even really met the guy and he just shoved it in my hand and left. What do you think of that?” I laugh  
“Hard to say,” My dad says in a sudden serious tone. “Either way, I’m sure this experience will be fun, especially since Donghyuck is there with you. Maybe you could talk to him about that note. You know it’s not good to keep secrets from your best friend,” He says.  
“Dad?” I ask. “Yeah Mark?” He responds. “I’m frightened, a little. They’re gonna have us asleep for almost a year,” I say. “Do not be afraid Mark. Do not be afraid. Be brave,” He whispers down the line. “ A year is a long time dad. What if something goes wrong?” I ask. “Like what Mark?” He asks.  
“I don’t know. What if I never wake up?” I cry. “I can assure you Mark, you will awaken again. Although at times, it can feel like the land of dreams is better than any reality that could exist,” he says. “Now I have to go Mark, I’m so tired. I’ll talk to you later okay? I love you.”  
“Can I call you tomorrow?” I ask. “I’m not so sure Mark. You should call your mother, I know she’s worried about this whole thing. Call her tomorrow will you?” He asks.  
“Yeah, I will. I love you dad. A lot,” I begin to cry down the phone. “Be brave Mark, be very brave. I’ll see you soon. Goodbye,” He says before the line hangs up.  
I put the phone back on the mount and slump down onto the floor. It was true that I was terrified. I was scared of all the unknown that was to come and all of the unknown that already existed. My dad was right though, I should show Donghyuck this note.  
I get up off of the floor and leave my room. I can instantly feel the heavy bass of the music playing downstairs. As I get to the balcony, the debauchery unfolds; Yuta is making out with the guy he winked at from earlier, and nearly everyone else is drinking like it’s the end of the world, Some are sitting every which way on couches and some are leaning up against the walls, everyone with a drink in hand.  
It becomes obvious as I look out across the the participants that cliques are already forming. Jaehyun and Taeyong are talking with each other against the huge window, And Taeil, Ten, and two guys I had yet to meet are taking up the opposite wall and second couch, the other couch being occupied by the couple sucking face.  
I head downstairs and approach Taeil and friends. “Woah the party really got started while I was upstairs, holy shit,” I laugh. “Yeah, I think it’s safe to say Yuta had this plan since dinner. I can assure you what’s going on over there is much more than the liquor talking,” Taeil yells over the music. “Who’s the other guy?” I ask. “His name is Sicheng. He’s cute, I’ll give him that. I talked to him a little bit earlier, he’s kinda shy, says he’s from China,” Taeil says. “On that same note, Mark, meet Doyoung and Jungwoo, and I think you know about Ten from dinner,” he says gesturing to the previously stranger participants.  
Doyoung had a cold look, with sharp eyes and beautifully styled hair. Jungwoo was the opposite on the other hand, with a cute smile and big, baby eyes. They all politely shake my hand and continue to murmur amongst themselves. “ Do you guys know anything about that guy over there?” I say as I timidly point in the direction of Taeyong. “Taeyong? I mean, I’ve barely spoken to him but he seems cool. He’s actually a ton nicer than he comes across. It’s just a facade,” Ten says. “I just always feel like he’s trying to pick a fight with me or something,” I joke. “Maybe I’m just too sensitive, I don’t know. Are him and Jaehyun like best friends?” I ask. “Seems like it right now, but it is just the first night, who knows what’ll happen,” Ten says.  
“Taeil, do you know where Donghyuck is?” I ask. “Oh your friend? The loud one with the red hair? He’s in the dining room with the rest of the kids, I think they found a poker set,” He says, pointing in the direction of the dining room. “Poker huh? Thanks Taeil, nice to meet you all,” I say as I head for the dining room.  
When I walk into the dining room I immediately spot Donghyuck at the head of the table with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. “Oh Mark!” Donghyuck says as he removes the cigarette from between his lips. “Did you finally finish takin’ a shit?” He asks in a fake New York accent. “What. The literal. Fuck. Are you doing?” I ask. “Uhh? Playing poker?” He laughs. “Not the fucking poker! The cigarette in your mouth!” I yell. “Woah Donghyuck, can you get your mans dude?” One of the guys from earlier says, nudging Donghyuck. “Mark, you’re really killing the guys night right now okay? Yeah I’m smoking a cig, being a fucking badass. I know being cool isn’t really your thing but...” He pauses, pretends to take a drag, and cartoonishly blows out the imaginary smoke, “It is mine!” He continues.  
“Can I just talk to you really quick,” I beg. “We’re talking right now. In fact pull up a chair, and come sit down, meet the guys,” He says beckoning me over. I walk over to him as he pulls a spare chair up, and I sit down. “This is Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun, Chenle, and Jisung. What’s crazy is that norenmin over here are the same exact age as me! What are the odds?” Donghyuck exclaims. “Norenmin?” I ask. “Yeah it’s these three’s names put together. My mind,” He says.  
“Where did you get that?” I ask, pointing to the cigarette. “I found it in the van they picked me up in. I guess they use it for events or something so they have like, complementary cigarettes. Anyway, I took one. But I ain’t gonna light it or anything, I just think I look cool with it while I play poker,” He says.  
“Okay, whatever. I need your help with something,” I whisper. “Oh shit, are you constipated or something? Cause if so you need a triscuit stat. You gotta get that fiber pumping through your veins or else you’re a goner,” He says. “No I’m not constipated, just listen,” I urge.  
“Earlier, right before I tripped at dinner, Yukhei gave me a note,” I say. “A note?!” He yells. “Shh!!” I say to him. “Listen, the note has a bunch of numbers on it, and I need you to help me figure out what it means,” I whisper. “Is this like super urgent or?” He says. “I mean, I don’t know how urgent it is, but don’t you find it kind’ve weird that one of the facilitators of this whole thing just gave me a mysterious note?” I ask. “Can the ‘mysterious note’ wait till the end of this game?” He asks. “Oh just c’mon!” I say, yanking him out of his seat. “ I’ll be back fellas! Just give me a sec!” Donghyuck yells as I drag him out of the dining room and back up the stairs to my room.  
We get into my room and I take Donghyuck into my bathroom. “Can I just ask why we have to be in your bathroom to look at this?” Donghyuck asks. “Because it says so,” I say, taking the note out of my pocket and handing it to Donghyuck. “Dude, this is binary,” he says as he unfolds the note. “Binary?” I ask. “Yeah this is what all information on a computer is made up of, 1’s and 0’s. Luckily for you, my huge fucking brain memorized binary in the 4th grade while I was at space camp so I can help you,” he boasts. “Now just give me a pen and paper and let me just figure this out,” he says. I quickly scurry out of the bathroom and over to the end table, and begin opening drawers until I find a notepad and pen.  
“Here!” I say, nearly throwing the pen and paper at him as I return to the bathroom. “Okay, I’m a little rusty, so you’re gonna have to give me a minute,” He says, laying stomach-down on the tile floors.  
For the next 20 to 30 minutes Donghyuck ever so slowly makes sense of the number combinations, scratching out sloppy letters at a snail’s pace until finally;  
“Got it! I think…” He says. I quickly grab the paper from his hand and look at the newly written message:

 

.enohp koot. gnichtaw eryeht

“Are you sure you did this right?” I ask, trying to make sense of the jumble of letters. “Of course I’m right, there has to be something that we’re not understanding,” Donghyuck says, flipping the paper upside down. “Do you know if Yukhei is possibly Scandinavian? This could be Danish, I did take a course on Duolingo one time,” he asks. “Give me that,” I say, snatching the paper from Donghyuck’s hands.  
I look at the message, “It could be an anagram,” Donghyuck suggests. “That would be too hard, surely Yukhei wanted me to know what this message says,” I say. “Clearly not, if we can’t figure it out. Yukhei must be one backwards guy if he’s sending you jumbled binary messages,” Donghyuck says.  
“Backwards… The note is backwards!” I exclaim, grabbing the pen and another sheet of paper. I transcribe each letter of the message into its forward form until two short sentences form. Two short sentences that chill me to the bone:

they’re watching. took phone.

“Took phone?” Donghyuck inquires. “My phone, it’s missing,” I say. “You brought your phone here?” Donghyuck asks. “Yeah. I thought I could hide it, but I guess they know,” I say, looking around the room.  
“Do you think our rooms are bugged?” Donghyuck asks. “I don’t think they’re bugged, I know they’re bugged. I had a suspicion they would be, but this only confirms it,” I whisper. “Why did Yukhei tell us to open the note in the bathroom?” Donghyuck asks. “It must be the only place they don’t have cameras.We should destroy the note anyway,” I say.  
Donghyuck nods his head. “Follow me,” I say, heading out of the room. “Mark!” Donghyuck cries as he grabs my arm; “What is this? The experiment I mean?” He asks. “I don’t know, but there’s obviously more than meets the eye. There’s a reason they’re watching us,” I say before turning and leaving the room.  
We throw the note in the fireplace along with our translation and the notepad we had written it on. But I was still left wondering why. Why were they watching us? And why did Yukhei tell me? He obviously felt we needed to know, but I couldn’t begin to wrap my head around why.

Ch. 10

The next morning, my alarm went off at 7 a.m. just like they said it would. No sooner had my alarm gone off, then I heard a knock at the door. So much for trying to sleep in a few more minutes. I go to the door only to find E23 waiting; “Good morning Mark. I hope you slept well. Please join us in the dining area no later than 7:15,” He says before walking back down the hall towards the stairs.  
As my head peers out the door, I see everyone else getting their wake up visits as well. The halls must be organized by age because as everyone begins to answer their doors, it becomes apparent that it’s me, Jungwoo, Donghyuck, and Donghyuck’s friends from last night, with all other participants presumably located in the A-wing of the dorm.  
I close the door and head to the bathroom to pee and wash up. I neatly fold my pajamas on my bed and jump in the shower. I triple checked to make sure my door was shut super well so as not to attract the view of a wandering unseen camera.  
Technically, all the cameras were unseen. In fact, I’m not even sure there actually are cameras. Donghyuck and I searched all around my room the night before trying to find these cameras, but we came up short. Either Yukhei was lying, or these were some next-level spy gadgets. Either way, I didn’t want to risk anything.  
When I exit the shower I put on my scrubs and begin to put on my shoes when I remember Yukhei’s instructions: no shoes. I had to wonder why, but at this point, I was just going with everything.  
I crack open my door then suddenly, “BOO!” Yells Donghyuck as he jumps around the corner of the doorway. “Dude I scared the hell out of you,” He says. “No you freaking didn’t, get over yourself,” I say back, giving him a playful push. I gotta admit though, my heart did almost explode, but I couldn’t give him that satisfaction.  
“Dude we look crisp as hell in these matching scrubs, we should start a boy group or something,” He says as we walk down the stairs towards the dining room. “Yeah? And what would our name be?” I ask. “I don’t know. Maybe the Naughty Nurses. Or the Debonaire Doctors,” Donghyuck chimes off. “Those both sound like porn duo names,” I chuckle. “Well listen, if this shit doesn’t work out, that could be a fall back plan,” he jokes.  
When we arrive, most of the participants are already sat eating; all of them in the identical white scrubs as well. Donghyuck and I sit towards the end of the table where the younger participants are. “Woah dude, what are the odds?! Matching?!” Donghyuck says as he goes in for a handshake with Jeno. “One of us is gonna have to change am I right?” Jeno playfully says back. I sit sit next to one of the more quieter boys in the group. His name tag reads Renjun and he passes me a bowl of fruit as I sit down.  
“What’s your name again?” He asks as I serve myself from the various bowls that cover the entire table. “Mark,” I say. “Are you nervous about today?” He asks. “Maybe, a little. I honestly don’t know what to expect, so I don’t really know what to be nervous about,” I say back. “Do you think it’s weird that we’re all dudes? And like, four out of the fifteen of us were born in the same year? What are the odds?” He asks rhetorically. “Yeah, it is strange, I thought about that yesterday. You would think if it’s a random lottery, there would be all kinds of people in here but I guess not,” I whisper. “I’m glad I’m not the only one that thinks something’s off here,” he chuckles.  
Suddenly, someone pushes the back of my head. I turn around in my chair to see Yuta standing there fuming. He has dark purple hickeys all up and down his neck and I’m sure if my hunch is correct, WinWin probably looks similar. “Get up,” he says in a stern tone. I do as I’m told and he grabs my arm and leads me into the living room. “Did you take my phone?!” He yells. My skin runs ice cold, they took his too. “No, of course not. When would I have even done that? I’ve only been in my room or with you all,” I squeak.  
“Well, when I woke up this morning, my phone was gone, and you’re the only one who knows I have it,” He says, pointing accusingly. “I swear I didn’t take your phone, I can’t even get into your room.” My voice shakes as he glares at me. The fun-loving, nonchalant Yuta seemed to be long-gone.  
“Then who could’ve t-....wait a minute, did you tell them I have my phone?” He interrogates. I take a deep breath, I need to just tell him the truth. “Come here,” I say pulling him in close enough to whisper in his ear. “They took my phone, and I’m sure it was them who took yours too. They are watching us,” I say. “Are you pulling my leg?” He says pulling away. “Look, I know that sounds creepy, but I swear I’m telling the truth,” I beg. “If I find out you took my phone, or turned me in I’m gonna be so upset,” He says, walking back into the dining room.  
I follow him, and he sits at the opposite end of the table along where WinWin, Jaehyun, and Taeyong have arrived. My hunch from earlier was correct. WinWin’s neck almost looks worse than Yuta’s.  
I sit back down and immediately Donghyuck and the rest of the guys are begging for answers. “Are y’all fighting already? On day one?” Donghyuck laughs. I lean in closer to him so only he can hear me; “They took his phone too, Yukhei has to be right,” I say. “Oh damn. You wanna know what the worst thing about this whole situation is?” He asks. “What?” I inquire with intensity. “I know they saw my ass,” he says in a fake-worried voice.  
I roll my eyes and playfully punch his arm. We all continue to eat breakfast, and I watch the other boys laugh, and play amongst each other, almost as if we’re not about to be experimented on. They bonded so quickly, like children on a playground. I almost envy the way they’re so unapologetically them. Never once being afraid of what anyone else thought. I miss being that way. Nowadays my only real friend is Donghyuck.  
College isolated me, for one reason or another. I still can’t quite figure out why. But I miss this. This unfiltered comradery. The kind you had when you were a kid. Absolutely unquestioned. It just was.  
Maybe this experiment came into being for more reasons than one. Maybe I would come out of all of this with something more than money, more than fame. At least, I hope so.  
The escorts eventually fetch us to take us to the labs. We all line up like you used to in kindergarten and are lead out the front door of the dorms and down the stairs.  
As we walk, the escort in the very front speaks; “This will be the only day you’ll be guided. Everyday hereafter it will be up to you to get up, eat, and find your way to your schedules for the day, is that understood?” He asks. We all drone out a collective yes, and continue walking down the numerous flights of stairs.  
Eventually we get to the very bottom of the stairs, where the escort shows us another panel in which we can unlock with our hands. Another escort holds the door open for us as we walk down yet another long hallway. Only this one is made up of windows. Windows to the outside world. It’s only then that I realize this isn’t a hallway at all, but a walkway. The walkway is high above a small road below, where maintenance trucks and vans, like the one I rode in, drive back and forth.  
The walkway is so high in fact, it makes me wonder how far up in the sky our dorm is. At the end of the walkway is yet another door that needs to be opened by a hand. As we step through the doorway, you can hear a collective gasp. We enter a great hall and all around are people in suits, and lab coats walking around, hurrying to their destinations. The ceiling has to be at least 100 feet up, allowing for multiple open levels. The hall is so grand that some workers are even driving golf carts and other vehicles through it.  
Standing in the middle, presumably waiting for us to arrive, is Johnny, Kun, and Yukhei. All three of them are wearing lab coats, and holding either a file folder or a clipboard.  
The escorts gather us around the three men, making a perimeter around the back of us. “Hello everyone! And welcome to our Dream Labs. Pretty incredible, I know. I am over the moon ecstatic to start our first day here, and I hope you all are as well. Momentarily, we’re going to take a little tour of our wonderful lab, and from there, we’ll give you further instructions,” Kun says cheerily. “Okay, everyone is here correct?” Kun asks, as he quietly counts us all. “Yes! Onward and upward we go!”  
Kun introduces us to the receptionist staff as we pass by the enormous front desk; a front desk wide enough to sit 20 people at it. We then all get in an elevator. It’s just as big as the one from yesterday, but much more pristine and polished.  
“On the second floor, you’ll find my department, Psychology. Here we have a full-time staff of not only psychologists, but psychiatrists as well. This is where you kind find me most mornings,” Kun says. He proceeds to show us various rooms that resemble his office; cozy and warm, presumably used for sessions like the one I had with Kun yesterday.  
Kun proceeds to take us up another floor. The floor contains room after room, each one having a large window separating it between the hallway. Each room contains something different. One has three huge treadmills in it, each with some sort of separate machine attached to it. One has what looks like an enormous jungle gym in it, with platforms and ropes that hang from the ceiling. We go up a small flight of stairs and are met with another window; one that looks out to a pool, one in which I can’t see the bottom, just darkness.  
“These rooms are for physical testing and training. The lab will want you all to be in your best shape for when your long sleep. Most days, you will have schedules in here. Today will be an evaluation day to see where you all are at physically. From there, you will be given a score and you’re permanent schedules will be set. So if there are no questions, you’ll be split into two groups, one with seven members, one with eight,” Kun says.  
Kun points each of us either to the left or the right, until we are split into our groups. My group consists of Renjun, Ten, Jungwoo, Taeyong, Taeil, Jeno, and I. Of course I would be stuck in a group with Taeyong, Murphy's Law. Also bummed I’m being separated from Donghyuck, but maybe this will force me to make friends.  
The other group is lead downstairs while my group stays on the third level. An unmarked man with a clipboard approaches my group; “Hello. This morning you all will be doing the physical tests first. These tests will include endurance, strength, quick thinking, and underwater abilities. There’s no time to waste. Let’s get you all to the first test.”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

The man leads us to the room that has the jungle gym in it while Johnny and Yukhei stay outside. The window we had looked in from the outside turned out to be two-way, with the portal being a mirror on the inside. Kun had followed the other group down to the second floor to oversee whatever it was they would be doing there.  
As we enter the room, the fortress looks even bigger than I had originally thought. It is made out of thick logs of timber, held together by huge metal screws and bolts the size of my fist. The room itself is probably as large as a football field, but no bigger than that.  
“Alright everyone. I’m not going to lie to you, we’re starting off hard, but I’m sure you can handle. You all will be starting at the far left wall of the room and the goal of this test is to be the first to make it to the opposite wall to retrieve a flag. You may use anything in this room to guide your path to the flag. Each of you is being timed, so don’t dawdle. I wish you all the best of luck. Please go stand with your backs touching the far wall,” The man instructs.  
To be honest, on the surface, this didn’t seem hard at all. Maybe my fellow participants would give me some trouble, but I can’t imagine any other obstacle standing in my way. I’ve never been the fastest, but I definitely don’t think I’ll be the slowest either.  
We all stand with our backs against the wall, shooting each other occasional glances of intimidation and confusion. “On my whistle, you may begin. No punching, kicking, biting, or spitting. This is a fair race. Does everyone understand?” Asks the man. We all nod our heads, and he holds the whistle up to his mouth.  
My heart is pounding so hard, I can hear it in my head. My whole body is coated in a layer of sweat underneath my scrubs, and my back is starting to soak through as it remains pinned against the wall.  
The man takes a breath, and the whistle blows. Almost instantaneously, the challenge becomes clear. None of us are off the wall for more than three seconds, when the floor suddenly begins to open up. A gap starts to open in the floor, beginning in the middle, revealing a drop into a deep pool.  
This wasn’t going to be easy. Soon there would be no more floor to stand on. We needed to think quick. The only way over seemed to be the ropes high above. Everyone begins to claw their way to the lowest beam of the fortress. Jungwoo makes it there first, with Jeno right behind him. Jungwoo is fast, but I’m not so sure if he’ll be stronger than Jeno.  
I lead the back with Renjun and Taeil, and we flash each other wild, and almost primal glances, our fear obvious and present.  
We all make it up onto the beam and from here, there’s a million and half dozen ways to get to the ropes. Each of us climb as hard as we can, all vying to get to the flag first. The fortress isn’t just an easy ladder climb though, it’s built of beams and ropes tied together. Some of the beams are no wider than a book, and some are so big, it’s nearly impossible to grab onto them.  
We are about half way up when I look down for the first time. The water looks miles below, I can only imagine falling now. My hands and feet are clammier than they’ve ever been. I’ve all but forgotten that we’re racing barefoot.  
We’re almost at the top section of the fortress before we must cross the ceiling ropes. This section of the fortress is like a huge fish net. The spaces between the knots are almost as wide as I am, slowing the group’s pace greatly.  
I move to the outside of the net to try and get around the pack. My heart could almost beat out of my chest as the stability of the net becomes less. Renjun notices what I’m trying to do and follows from behind. The rest continue on their path up the center of the net, Jeno taking the lead.  
He makes it to the top platform first, and immediately jumps to the first rope. The ropes must be at least 6 feet apart, we’ll have to swing from each one to the next, or fall the almost 8 stories into the water.  
I make it up to the platform next and grab the first rope as it swings back. Immediately I can feel the strain on my shoulders as I hold on for dear life. Jeno is two ropes ahead of me, I can tell that even he is struggling. I move my body back and forth, almost like you would do on a swing, to try and get some momentum to propel me to the next rope.  
I jump, and nearly miss, but I grab onto the second rope tight. Behind me is Taeyong, he somehow had gotten in front of Renjun and had jumped onto the first rope directly after I had jumped off. Him being behind me gives me a boost of competition and I continue to swing and grab each rope in front of me, one after another, until I’m directly behind Jeno.  
We’re no more than three or four ropes out from the opposite fortress when I suddenly hear a cry for help; “Wait! Help! I can’t hold on!! Oh god!” I turn my head, it’s Renjun. He’s dangling at the end of the rope, his feet flailing wildly. I don’t know what to do, I’m frozen. What can I do. “Keep moving!,” Taeyong yells from behind me. Before I swing to the next rope, I lock eyes with Renjun, his face, a blistering red from fear. His eyes are sparkling with tears.  
Suddenly, his hands slip, as if someone had pushed him, and he falls. Watching him plummet down to the water below, tears begin to form in my eyes. It’s like I’m seeing it all in slow motion. His fear, the dark pit below. But there’s nothing any of us can do now.  
He hits the water and immediately, divers who had presumably been waiting, bring him up to the surface, and place him on ledge of the pit where a door slides open, a door I hadn’t noticed previously. Men in coats like Johnny, Kun, and Yukhei’s retrieve him and the door slams shut.  
I suddenly snap back into the task at hand as Taeyong urges me once more: “Move it Mark! Or that’ll be the rest of us!”  
I swing to the next few ropes, the rough nylon, tearing my hands apart. I make it onto the platform right behind Jeno and now it’s a race to the bottom. This side of the fortress mimics the other side, so now we just have to do it in reverse.  
We clamber down the net, my legs slipping through the gaps. I’m trying my best to keep my balance as we traverse the beams, and as we get closer to bottom platform, I can see the seven flags. I pick up my speed, knocking my shins along the way.  
Jeno and I are basically neck and neck, even though I can hear the rest of the participants directly behind me. We’re weaving over and under the beams, at times bumping into each other and forcing one another to take a different route.  
The platform is no more than 3 meters away, and I’m honestly running on empty, but I have to give my last push. I force my way past Jeno and over the final beams. I reach my hand out, the flag is right there. Suddenly a shadow passes overhead, and feet land right in front of me.  
It’s Taeyong. He grabs the first flag and Jeno and I follow, making a tie for second. Within no more than 10 seconds, the remaining participants collect their flags. We all collapse on the platform in a heap of heavy breathing as the floor begins to close.  
The man from before comes through the door we had entered, followed by Johnny and Yukhei. “Well done. All of you. I know that was a challenge. We’ll take a short break where you can rest and get something to drink. Then we’ll begin our next test. Follow me,” The man says.  
“Wait!” I say as he turns his back. I can feel everyone’s eyes on me, as we all think the same thing. “What is it Mark?” The man asks. “What’s going to happen to Renjun?” I ask, standing and meeting his gaze. “I can assure you that Renjun will be just fine. In fact, he’ll be joining us for the rest of the tests. Nothing to worry about, I promise.”

Ch. 11

The man leads us into a room similar to a lounge. It is closely decorated like our dorm; modern, and sleek. We’re all exhausted from the last test, and I couldn’t imagine doing one more thing after what we just endured. My hands are bleeding from the ropes, and I’m drenched to the bone in sweat.  
We all sit on the various chairs and couches that line the room, and all collectively let out a sigh of relief. The man leaves, and for a moment it’s just us, Johnny, and Yukhei. Taeyong suddenly breaks the silence: “How can he say that Renjun’s gonna be okay?! He fell like a million feet?! How could that possibly have been our first test? This is just to put us in exercise groups anyway! Why do we need to do such an extreme course?!” He yells at Johnny and Yukhei.  
They both remain calm as Yukhei speaks: “Taeyong he will be okay. In a minute you’ll understand why. Just trust us. And as for the test, we want to make sure we put you in the right category so we can see where you are all at physically. We want to build you all up to the same level before this experiment. Being asleep for months on end does drastic things to your bodies, so we want you all to be as strong as you can beforehand,” He explains.  
No sooner does he finish his statement, then the man returns with a tray of small cups filled halfway with electric blue liquid. He places it down on the coffee table in the middle of the room, and sits down next to Johnny and Yukhei.  
“Please, take one,” He beckons to us. We all look at each other before cautiously taking the drinks. We hold them in our hands, as if it wasn’t obvious as to what we were suppose to do next. Suddenly, Ten throws the liquid back in one swig. We all watch in shock, then proceed to do the same. The liquid tastes bitter, almost too bitter to swallow, and it burns like soda as it hits the back of my throat. We all cringe and flinch at the harshness of the drink, some even gagging a bit as they try to get it down.  
“We never did figure out how to get the stuff to taste any better,” Johnny chuckles from his seat. “W-what is this?” I ask. “Look down at your hands Mark,” Johnny says. I do as I’m told, and at first, I think my eyes are playing tricks on me. Where there were once huge, open blisters, is now fresh, clean skin. Everyone else begins to inspect their bodies for the bruises and cuts they acquired during the test; nothing. Almost as if we had never done it at all.  
“That stuff...healed us?” Ten asks. “More than that. How do you all feel?” Asks the man. We all suddenly sit up a little straighter. I feel as if I’ve just woken up from the longest rest ever. Like I’ve just been born, fresh out of the womb. It’s as if I had never climbed the fortress at all.  
“What is that?” I ask. “We don’t have a name for it yet, but we believe we’re on the path to some revolutionary healing technology,” Johnny says. “Can it heal like, cancer?” I ask softly. “No, not yet. The most it can do at this point is heal a broken finger, and make you strong again. It could certainly ease a cancer patient’s discomfort at this stage, but not heal the cancer. It’s a work in progress.”  
I sit back in my chair with a sigh. “Why are you all keeping this a secret? Do you know how many people this could help?” Taeyong prods. “Listen, this just isn’t ready for the public to see yet. It needs loads more testing and approval and that takes a long time,” Johnny explains.  
“Let’s get you all ready for the next test,” interrupts the man from before. He beckons us to stand, and we do so. He leads us back out into the hallway, and through a side door I hadn’t noticed before. The smell of chlorine assaults my nose as we walk down a flight of stairs. When we reach the bottom, we are greeted with the pool I had seen before.  
It’s huge, almost the size of a small lake. Like before, it’s too dark to see the bottom, but I can make out faint shapes within the murk. Suddenly, we hear footsteps coming down the stairwell we just came from. Soon, a figure rounds the corner and approaches the group. It’s Renjun.  
He’s smiling as if nothing ever happened. But if he got the same stuff we got, I know how he feels; invincible. “Hey,” I whisper to him as he stands beside me. “Hey,” he whispers back. “That was a crazy fall you took. How are you feeling?” I ask. “Mentally, a little disappointed, but physically I feel great. They gave you guys that blue stuff too right?” He asks. “Yeah. Crazy isn’t it?” I exclaim. “Yeah. I feel like I’m on top of the world if I’m to be honest,” he chuckles.  
“Alright you all, this test will challenge your ability underwater. I know to some of you this may be intimidating, but know we have trained professionals on standby to assist you. The goal of this is to get to the lowest platform of the pool as you can before coming up for air. Once you get to said platform, you are to place your palm flat on it before coming back up to the surface, so that your achievement can be recorded. At this very moment the serum you have ingested has given you the ability to hold your breath for up to double your usual time. Now while this sounds like this will make this test a piece of cake, your not out of the woods yet. While the serum has given you prolonged oxygen stores, it has done nothing to aid you in the crushing pressure you will experience the deeper you dive. That is my one and only warning to you,” The man explains  
“So we’re like fish people now?” Ten asks with glee. “No. You are regular people through and through. The serum has only enhanced your body’s ability to store oxygen. In no other way are you anything but a mere human being,” warns the man.  
The pool suddenly lights up with with a flash, and the course below appears. The first platform seems to only be five feet below the water; One we should all be able to stand on. The next ones seem to increase by a little bit more each time. About a dozen safety divers are also visible, each one being at a different depth of the pool than the last. This shouldn’t be too bad, especially after what we just endured.  
“Your scrubs will conform to your body once they are fully submerged in the water. They have been designed to make you more aerodynamic in aquatic situations,” The man explains. “Now, everyone step to the edge of the pool.”  
We do as we’re told, and step up till each of our toes are caressing the concrete edge of the abyss. I would usually be nervous about this, I’m not that incredible of a swimmer, and deep water has always frightened me. But with this serum flooding my body, I feel as if I’ll never be afraid again.  
“Good luck to you all. Be safe down there,” The man says, again holding the whistle up to his mouth. I can do this. I’m going to do this. I let the last test slip through my fingers. Not this one.  
I can feel the electrifying energy between the seven of us; the same blue liquid coursing through each of our veins. There is a moment of absolute silence before the man blows the whistle. A moment where you could hear a pin drop; Our bodies just one sound away from turning into the machines we were before.  
All at once, the whistle blows, and we’re all in the water. It’s disorienting at first. Under the water it’s nothing but bodies and bubbles. I can’t even tell which way is up or down. I begin to swim anyway, trying my best to break away from the frenzy that had formed on the surface.  
I kick as hard as I can, pushing my way through the foam. I eventually get into the clear open water, where it becomes apparent we’re being watched every step of the way. As before, there are large mirrors every ten feet or so. “Mirrors” I know we are being watched from.  
Not only are we being watched from the mirrors, but all around us are masked divers, observing our every kick, ready to yank us out if anything were to happen.  
I’m at the very back of the pack, maybe I’m an even worse swimmer than I thought. But this test isn’t about speed, it’s about endurance; who can stand the dwindling oxygen and the crushing pressure the longest?  
The atmosphere is intense, this test feels even more high stakes than the last. The water makes the competition feel eerie, it’s a completely silent scene as we all kick and paddle our way lower and lower.  
My lungs feel fine, as if I just took a breath. I can’t quite tell how much time has passed, but we’ve swam by quite a few platforms at this point and the dark bottom of the pool gets closer and closer with every jolt of my limbs.  
I start to gain on the rest of the participants as all of our paces begin to even out. Eventually we are all almost in a straight line, heading farther and farther into the abyss.  
It’s clear that again, Jeno is the powerhouse here. When he realizes we are all swimming at the same pace, he pushes ahead, kicking vibrations of water into our faces. Ten follows his lead, and makes a mad dash to catch up to him.  
The pressure at this point is getting almost suffocating, even with our extended oxygen stores. I worry that Ten and Jeno will have to turn around sooner than they’re expecting, their hearts are probably beating so hard and therefore using up what oxygen they have.  
Out of the corner of my eye I see Taeil turn back, quickly followed by Taeyong. Now it’s just Jungwoo, Renjun, and I in the remaining back group, with Jeno and Ten way ahead.  
I don’t know how their doing it. We must be at least 40 feet under, and the pressure is almost sickening at this point. My head feels as if it’s going to be crushed. I’m so focused on the pain of the pressure I don’t even realize that my lungs are getting that familiar burning. The burning that tells me time is up.  
I have to save some oxygen to get me back up to the surface, so I stop my decent and quickly change directions. As I get closer to the surface, the need to breathe becomes the fiercest thing I’ve ever felt. I feel as if I’m chasing the light that glints off the top of the pool.  
I reach my hand out, I just want to feel the air again. I kick furiously, I need oxygen, I feel like I can’t take it anymore.  
Right as I feel like every bit of oxygen has left my body, My head crests over the top of the pool. I gasp for air and two escorts pull me out, wrap me in a towel, and hand me another round of the blue serum.  
I’m so out of breath, I can’t even bring myself to to drink the inch of liquid in the plastic cup. I lay on my back, letting myself be rejuvenated by the air around me. “Drink up,” orders one of the escorts. I do as I’m told and gulp down the serum. Almost immediately I’m brought back to life. And I again feel as if I had never done the test at all.  
Seconds after I drink the serum, Jungwoo springs up out of the water, followed closely by Renjun. They’re wrapped up and given the serum as well, before collapsing on the ground just as I did.  
“Are those two still down there?” Taeyong asks from behind me. “Last I saw they were still going,” Jungwoo answers between heavy breathing. “Holy shit, they’re gonna die down there. I don’t even get how they can still be going,” Renjun says, sitting up and peering into the pool.  
We all wait for what seems like an hour, I’m sure it must’ve only been another minute or so before a head comes rocketing out of the water; It’s Ten. He is pulled out of the pool by escorts and is laid on several towels. He is breathing so hard, it looks as if his ribcage will snap. He lays there, almost completely motionless except for the rapid rising and falling of his chest. It’s almost as if he’s asleep, his eyes closed and his body wrapped up.  
Not too long after Jeno comes up to the surface in close to the same state; It’s a relief that they’re both out of the water safely. They are soon enough given the serum, which immediately slows their breathing and opens their eyes.  
“Beat ya,” Jeno softly exclaims, with Ten responding with a punch to his arm. “Very good, all of you,” says a voice from behind. It’s the man again, followed by Johnny and Yukhei. “I know that test can be hard for many people, comfortability in the water isn’t inherent,” the man says.  
“I literally can’t imagine what you’re going to fucking do to us next,” Taeyong says. “I was thinking next up could be...lunch,” smiles the man.

Ch. 12

All 15 of us reconvene in a another lounge similar to the one before. It’s almost a relief to see all of their faces again, especially Donghyuck’s. I run up to him, embracing like I’d never see him again.“Bro I have got to tell you what just went down, like, the literal craziest shit ever,” I exclaim. He acknowledges me with a distant nod and continues to load his plate with various food the lab had laid out for us.  
“Dude are you okay?” I ask. “Yeah Mark. I’m fine,” He says in a monotone voice. “Hey wait, what happened? What did they do to you?” I ask, running after him as he goes to sit down. “Mark I’m not allowed to tell you. But,” he leans in close to me; “Prepare yourself. Everything is not as it seems,” He whispers.  
He looks down at his plate and begins to slowly pick away at his food. What did they do to him? 

<><><><><><><><><>

Lunch ends without another word between us, or anyone else for that matter.  
Our groups switch, and soon, we’re being lead down to the second floor with Kun while Donghyuck’s group is presumably taken to the fortress room. We all ride quietly in the elevator before Kun inevitabley breaks the silence; “So how was that you all? Exhilarating I bet. I’m sure they gave you all the 127UV Serum?” He asks.  
So the serum did have a name, not that those numbers or letters meant anything to me. We all nod our heads, no one quite sure what to say about the things we had just experienced.  
The elevator dings open and we are walked down the hall past the offices we had seen previously. We are taken into a room with large, black chairs lining the perimeter. They are all made of thick leather, and each chair has what appears to be something akin to a motorcycle helmet sitting upon it.  
“Everyone take a seat,” Kun urges, and we do as we’re told. I sit down in one of the chairs, and place the helmet in my lap.  
“I’m sure you’re wondering what the helmets are for. They’re the most advanced VR technology on the face of the Earth. They haven’t even been released to the public yet. This part of the day will be a test to see where your mental skill is at. Once you put on the helmet, you will be transported to another place, and there, you will be given tasks to carry out. Your brain activity will be monitored by the helmets, and how you react to the situations presented will determine your mental scores. I’m sure you all will do fantastic,” Kun explains.  
“Now everyone place your helmets on, I can help you if you’re a bit confused,” Kun says softly. I stare down at the blacked out helmet, my gut fearing for what I was to find inside. I reluctantly place it over my head. Of course it’s pitch dark, and all sounds from the outside room have been blocked out.  
It’s absolutely silent for what seems like minutes before a quiet ringing begins. It’s so soft, at first I thought I was imagining it. The ringing grows louder and louder, till I can barely stand it, before the screen erupts with white.  
Suddenly, I’m in a field. It’s beautiful, and endless. What’s immediately strange is that I can feel the warmth of the sun on my face, and I can look down at my feet as if I were really here.  
I look around, seeing nothing but tall strands of wheat. I turn around in circles, not entirely sure of how I’m able to do this when really I’m just sitting in a chair in some room of the lab.  
I begin to run through the field. I feel so happy in this moment. To just run and run and to feel the midday sun beam down on my pale skin. I feel like a kid again. Like nothing from the outside world could touch me. Like nothing from the outside world even matters.  
As I run, I begin to see a figure come up over the horizon; it’s my dad. My heart almost skips a beat and I begin to run faster. “Dad!” I shout. I run even faster, so fast that it feels as if my feet could just lift right off the ground.  
He slowly gets closer and closer as I run harder and harder, until finally he’s right in front of me. I notice as I stand in front of him that he’s holding two clear bags filled with water that are tied at the top. I look down at the bags, then back up at him; “Dad, what are you doing here?” I ask, now almost unaware that everything around me is fiction.  
He doesn’t answer but instead places his arms around my body. “Dad? Dad? Dad say something,” I beg, patting his back erracticaly. He continues to hold me me, not one word even beginning to escape his lips. “Dad. Dad! Dad!” I scream out, tears begin to stream out of my eyes as I shake his body.  
He remains silent. I continue to yell and shake him, knowing full well that my efforts are futile. My mood has switched entirely from what I was just feeling. So much so, that upon reflection, I could say with almost certainty that my emotions weren’t being controlled by myself at all.  
All at once, and after what seems like minutes of begging, my dad pulls away. Only, it’s not him at all. Instead of my dad’s face staring back, it’s my own. The clone is just as still and unchanging as my dad was before, only now, there’s a glint in his eyes. A glassiness falls over the doppelganger and his stoicism is broken as a single tear falls from his eye. I watch it as it careens down his cheek and into the soft earth below.  
The other Mark is holding the bags of water just as my dad had been before. He looks down at them, and I do the same. I feel a sensation, as if I know what’s going to happen next. I look back up at him, and he matches my gaze.  
“Don’t,” I say, almost at a whisper. Not a second after the word leaves my mouth, the clone drops the bags.  
As they drop, it’s almost as if I’m watching them fall in slow motion. I’m frozen where I stand. Instead of hitting the ground and gently bouncing as you thought they’d might, they shatter like glass.  
The water rushes out, and begins to flood the ground. It starts to erode away the earth around me, and I begin to lose my footing. My doppelganger watches on as I try to keep my feet planted on the ground as it breaks and crumbles.  
I quickly realize that I’m falling. Falling through a space completely unknown. I try to cry out, but the space is as silent as that thing had been.  
As I fall I can begin to feel a chill, no, an absolute coldness, begin to work it’s way up my spine. Slowly, I’m being submerged. At first it’s not clear by what, but I soon realize that it’s just like my dream all those years ago.  
As I realize the reality of my situation, the world around me becomes more clear, and a dock materializes in front of me. It’s just out of reach for me to save myself from the ice water below, so I just continue to fall.  
Soon I’m sinking, just as I had done before. The water is engulfing every bit of me, even the inside. The light from the surface shines on my face as I sink, but I don’t do anything to reach out to it. I sink lower and lower into the chilling water until, as it was before, the sun is a pinprick on the surface above.  
I close my eyes, and except the fate of the frozen abyss below.

<><><><><><><><>

“Mark. Open your eyes Mark. Everything is alright,” a voice coos. My eyes shoot open, and I am immediately short of breath. “Breathe Mark just breathe,” I look to my left revealing an escort to be the one comforting me.  
I’m breathing heavily, as if I had just finished a run. The escort leans the chair I’d been sitting in back. As I lay there, I look around the room. The other participants are getting the same treatment as me.  
Some of them are just as panicked, some of them even more. I look over to Taeyong who is laying two chairs over from me. He’s not saying a word. He’s just laying there, his eyes glued open, as if he’d never want to close them again.  
It was obvious what they had done. Kun didn’t just ask about our lives, and more importantly our dreams, for nothing.  
Kun walks into the room, smile on his face; “Good work everyone. I’m sure that wasn’t easy. But you’re safe now, and I’ll have you returned to your dorms so you and the other participants may rest.”  
“That’s it?” Ten asks from his chair. “What do you mean?” Asks Kun. “I don’t know, I guess I was just expecting the test to be longer,” Ten says timidly.  
“You were all in the simulation for three hours,” Kun says, signaling for the escorts to get us up.  
Three hours? It had felt like I had been in there for only a matter of minutes. It’s clear now that the lab had technologies beyond any of our comprehensions. Technologies that could recreate our darkest fears, and manipulate the very fabric of our realities.  
The escorts get us all up and we begin to shuffle our way to the elevator. As before, it’s silent, only this time for a different reason entirely.  
We are taken back to our dorms where the other participants are already waiting. We all embrace one another, knowing what each other had experienced.  
The escorts leave us and we all gather in the living room. I know our bones ache, and we’re mentally exhausted to our cores, but I’ve never felt a closer sense of comradery in my life.  
Yuta walks over to the open bar on the far side of the living room and opens a bottle of rum. He pours himself a glass, and begins to fill another. He passes the drink to Sicheng, who passes it to Doyoung, and so on. Slowly but surely everyone has a drink in their hand.  
We all sip the harsh liquid, and let it warm our insides. Not a word is exchanged but none were really needed. If nothing else out of this entire experience was to ever be fine, at least this was. At least with them, at least right here, everything was to be okay.

Ch. 13

The next morning we are gathered into a conference room where we all sit around a large oval table. Johnny and Kun sit down at the table with us, and Yukhei stands with a clipboard at the front of the room.  
“We as a board, sat down and created a score for each of you. This score was formed by each of your performances yesterday in both the physical and mental tests. This score will be used to put you all in training categories for both physical and mental training over the next two months,” Yukhei explains. “I’m just going to go ahead and get started. First is Moon Taeil, who has a score of 7 out of 10.”  
Yukhei calls out everyone’s number one by one. I get a 6 out of ten, and Donghyuck gets a 7 out of 10. Jeno and Yuta both get 9 out of 10’s. Their scores make me almost wonder if they even have to train at all. Renjun and Chenle get the lowest scores, 5 out of 10’s.  
So now we’ll divide you all into three groups, and these will be the groups you will train with until the commencement of the experiment itself.  
“Group one is Yuta, Jeno, Ten, Jaehyun, and Jaemin. Group two will be Taeil, Taeyong Doyoung, Sicheng, Donghyuck, and Jisung. Lastly we’ll have Group 3 which will consist of Mark, Chenle, Renjun, and Jungwoo. Are there any questions?” Asks Yukhei.  
I was honestly surprised that Jungwoo and I had been placed in the last group. We had performed pretty well on the physical tests. Then again, I was sure our scores were low because of how we must’ve reacted in the simulation.  
“You will all be escorted to your trainings when you arrive to the lab each morning. This will be your next couple of months, so be prepared for the work ahead,” Yukhei says. “Now you will be escorted to today’s trainings. I wish you all the best of luck, I’ll be seeing you all around.”  
As he finishes, the escorts come in and gather us into our groups. We are given arm bands to wear that let others know what group we’re in. Group 3’s is green, and has a large black “3” sewn onto it. 

<><><><><><><>

Over the next weeks, our alarms would all go off at 7 a.m. We would then eat breakfast tailored to our groups’ specific diets. Group 3’s was high protein low carb. That consisted of three links of turkey sausage, two eggs, no salt, and a chocolate protein shake every morning.  
Throughout the day we would eat protein bars that were high in caloric intake, and for dinner we would have at least 8 ounces of chicken breast with a side of broccoli. At first, this extreme intake of food was too much for my body, not to mention the intense 10 hour workouts that took place almost every day.  
The first week of this new diet and exercise plan put me into the health ward of the lab. But I quickly recovered as I was supplemented small doses of the blue serum a couple days a week until my stomach could handle the exertion of my new routine.  
Our workouts were intense, both mentally and physically. We would have to run long distances on treadmills while hooked up to machines that would monitor our oxygen intake and heart rate. We would learn to do specialized swim routines that tested both our endurance and lung capacities. The unnamed trainers would push us harder and harder every week, and even though it was hell, I could feel myself bulking up and getting stronger.  
The physical tests were nothing compared to the mental testing. We did simulation practice three times a week to help us take control of the fantasy world; a world akin to what we would be experiencing in the dreams. We would have the same scenarios simulated over and over again until our brains were able to lucidly realize that what was around us wasn’t real.  
This is what we would have to do in the experiment, and if we didn’t master lucidity in the simulations, there was a risk of brain damage in the experiment.  
The younger boys that were still in high school would spend over half their days in a special school part of the lab. SM had spared no expense bringing in top teachers and tutors to make sure the boys didn’t fall behind while they were here.  
I learned more about the rest of the guys during this time. Like how Taeyong ended up not being the cold person I had originally assumed him to be. He surprised me instead; he loved to cook, especially sweet things. In fact, he was almost motherly to an extent. He would care for the younger boys and try to make their time here as fulfilling as he could.  
When Taeyong learned that Chenle’s birthday had passed without any of us knowing, he begged the escorts to allow him to bake a cake. They eventually gave in and got him the supplies he needed, candles and all. That night we all sat around the table and sang happy birthday to Chenle. I’ll never forget how I felt that night. That we had created our own little sanctuary with each other. That no matter how afraid we were of what was to come, that at least we were doing this together.  
We had one day a week off where we could do whatever we liked. We could read the innumerable books that were kept at our dorms, or perhaps build a fort out of couch cushions and pillows from our beds. Soon enough, we figured out what we liked to do best.  
The lab was far from civilization. It stood alone in a vast wilderness surrounded by looming mountains and a solitary lake. This enabled us ultimate privacy in a world that suddenly wanted to know everything about us; the 15 boys that would be the first to explore dreams like no one had before.  
We were never supposed to leave the confines of the internal lab space. Our free recreation time was to be spent in a large gymnasium equipped with basketball nets, soccer goals, and hockey sticks. But often Kun would bend the rules and drive us out to the lake where we would play in dwindling winter sun. It was freezing down by the lake, but since we were only allowed outside this once, it was absolute paradise to us.  
Eventually January came around, and it began to snow. The younger boys wanted so badly to play in the newly whitened hills that surrounded the labs, but it seemed as if we had already stretched our privileges down by the lake.  
It snowed for a week straight, and every morning the boys would get up before our alarms went off, and they would press their faces against the windows, longing for just one day in the world beyond.  
One morning we awoke to find something out of place in our living room. Propped up against the wall by the fireplace were four purple sleds, with a note attached to them:

Work hard today, and I’ll try my best to take you out.  
-Kun

He kept his promise and the moment we were done with our daily trainings, he beckoned us into one of the vans and drove us out to the nearest field he deemed fit for sledding.  
We all took turns riding the sleds two by two; sleds later revealed to have been bought with Kun’s own money.  
It was almost heartbreakingly pure, all of us, just playing in the snow. It reminded me of the days when you were a kid, and you would wake up early just to see if school had been cancelled. And when it inevitably was, you and all your friends would meet up without a word being said, as if the snow brought with it a telepathic magic.  
We started to see less and less of Kun after that. I’m sure the lab was putting space between us and him. But even though we wouldn’t get to go outside again, Kun’s gestures meant more to us than anything. 

<><><><><><><><>

One morning came like any other. We all woke up at seven, ate our breakfast, and headed to the labs. Only when we got to the door beyond the walkway, it was already open. Standing in the doorway was Yukhei and Johnny.  
“Good morning,” said Yukhei. Johnny stood there stoically as usual. “Today will be different. You will not go to your trainings, but instead you will try out the dream pods,” Yukhei explained.  
We had been briefly told about the dream pods before, but knowing that we would be placed in them today sent a new and unfamiliar chill down my spine. “So if you all will just follow me,” Yukhei beckons.  
We follow him inside the now familiar labs where the extras are bustling around as usual, holding their papers and rolling their carts. We walk to the far side of the first floor; an area we had never been allowed before.  
We reach a door, and Yukhei scans his hand. “You all will always be with either I or Johnny when you come to the pod room, and therefore none of your handprints will work on this scanner.”  
We proceed into the room, the door being exceptionally heavy as it’s passed from one participant to the next.  
We are immediately met with a dimly lit circular room, perhaps the size of a hockey rink. There are numerous people around the room, some on computers, some differing with one another at illuminated tables. In a smaller circle in the middle of the room are what I can only describe as large eggs that glow purple and blue light.  
I count them quickly as we all stand there in awe. Strangely there are 16. One for each of us, and then, someone else.  
This is real. This is real. To a point, I’m sure we were all pushing the idea that the dreams would ever happen out of our heads. That none of this could possibly ever happen. That maybe this whole experience in and of itself had been a dream. That this had all been nothing short of a fictitious mirage that we had all shared in. But as we stood there, and the pods stared back, we new that we wouldn’t be waking up. That we were on the top layer of reality, and that the path ahead of us was set.  
“Alright,” Yukhei says, breaking the silence that had fell over all of us. “Welcome to the Pod Room. In just over two weeks, you all will embark on one of the biggest journeys mankind has ever faced. I understand if you’re feeling apprehensive, or perhaps even afraid. But this is history.”  
He walks down over to the nearest pod, and we follow. “Each pod has a number on it that corresponds to the number you were given. You are not to enter a pod that isn’t yours, nor enter a pod without the permission of a pod technician,” Yukhei explains as he beckons a technician over. She reaches under the egg, and a popping sound emanates from the machine.  
The pod suddenly opens up like a coffin, revealing what lies inside. The inside of the pod is coated in an almost gelatinous-like substance that shimmers and glints. It is deep, almost like a bathtub, and the top lid is almost an exact mirror.  
“This pod is Taeil’s, and has been altered to match what his body needs. When you enter the pod, you will be naked, and then put under. We will then fill the pod with water, this will ease the strain on your body from being still for so long. Are there any questions?” Yukhei asks.  
“How are we connected to each other?” Ten asks. “The connection is made through electricity and firing patterns, these patterns are unique to each of you, and therefore will enable us to connect you all like phone lines,” says Yukhei.  
“Alright, let’s waste no time. Everyone, if you will, please remove your scrubs and place them in the cubbies over there, then stand next to your pod,” Yukhei beckons.  
We all look at each other, our faces turning bright red. Aside from the 15 of us in the room, there are probably about 30 other people surrounding us, all now staring. Ten as always starts it off, removing the shirt part of his scrubs. I catch his eyes, and he nods to me. It’s a nod that means we’re in this together. That he feels what we’re feeling.  
We all begin to follow, taking the few pieces of clothing we have on, off, one by one and folding them into neat little stacks. Eventually we are all naked. All eyes are on the floor as we sit in embarrassing silence.  
“A-alright now. Over to the pods,” Yukhei says softly. I carefully shuffle over to number 9. I catch a quick glance between Yukhei and I. It’s strange. There’s almost words coming out of his eyes. Almost a “sorry.” As if this isn’t what he wants.  
I make it over to my pod, and a technician approaches me. She’s the nurse from the health ward all those months ago. From the very first day.. I can’t remember her name anymore. “H-hi again,” I squeak out. “Hello,” she says coldly. I’m caught off guard by her demeanor. The last time we spoke she was so bubbly, and honest. She’s different now, as if we had never met at all.  
She unlocks the pod and begins to feed wires through. I feel weird standing there completely naked, watching her fiddle with the pod, I’m sure my face is as red as it can get.  
Eventually she finishes; “Alright now hop up and lay down with your head over there to the right,” She explains. I do as I’m told and lay down. The gel around me is freezing cold, and I recoil at the sudden change in temperature. “Today I won’t be putting you to sleep, you’re just going to see how it feels okay?” She asks. “Okay,” I say soft as ever. “I’m going to attach these electrodes all around your head,” She says, sticking the circular pads around every inch of of my skull. “Alright, now I’m going to close the pod and turn on the water. It’ll be a little cold but you’ll only be in for a minute. Here, take these goggles, the water has salt in it,” she says, handing me the largest pair of goggles I’d ever seen.  
She closes the lid of the pod, and everything is dark. My heart begins beating hard. This is where my body was about to lay for 10 months. Alone. In the dark. In the cold. I was far from anything that was familiar, anything that felt safe.  
This is what I think outer space would feel like. Cold and dark. A feeling of nakedness that went beyond my skin.  
Suddenly I hear a buzzing, similar to the one in the simulation. Slowly, a dim purple light begins to illuminate the inside. The light glistens against the gel that surrounds me, revealing the gel to be almost iridescent, as if it was made out of mother of pearl.  
I begin to hear a gentle trickling, and feel a wetness grace the small of my back. Water rushes through tiny holes in the bottom of the pod. It sweeps up past my toes, and tickles my earlobes. I begin to feel a buoyancy, and slowly, I can feel myself floating.  
I’m floating without even thinking about it. Weightless, I close my eyes. This really is what outer space feels like.  
No sooner do I begin to float, that the water drains. The technician opens the pod and helps me down out of the egg. She hands me a towel and I wrap myself up.  
“How was that?” She asks. “Pretty incredible,” I respond. An almost microscopic smile curls the corners of her lips, but she quickly wills it away. “Go get dressed. I’ll be seeing you,” She says.  
I return to my cubby, and dry the excess water out of my hair before putting my scrubs back on. The rest of the boys eventually get their scrubs back on, and we begin to leave for our daily training.  
No sooner had my feet passed through the doorway of the pod lab, that I felt a hand suddenly jerk my shoulder back. I’m suddenly hurried into a side room. I’m taken so quickly in fact, that I don’t even get a look at who’s leading me.  
I’m shoved into the dark room and I hear the door lock behind me. A light is switched on, and I see who it is; Yukhei.  
“What is this? What’s wrong?” I ask. “Shh!” Yuhei exclaims, covering my mouth. “There’s not much time Mark. I need to tell you right now. This experiment. It isn’t what they say it is. Not at all.” He pauses, stealing a quick glance at the door. “You and Renjun had a conversation a couple months ago. Do you remember what you said?” He asks.  
“I don’t know, I’ve had a lot of conversations with Renjun,” I say timidly.  
“It wasn’t just a coincidence that the participants chosen were all young men. And it wasn’t just luck that you ended up here Mark Lee,” Yukhei says in a stressed whisper. “Moreover it wasn’t a coincidence that your dad showed you that newspaper.”  
“Wait, how do you know about that?” I exclaim.  
Yukhei takes a step back from me, an almost primal fear in his eyes. “I have to go. Train well today,” Yukhei says before unlocking the door and fleeing.  
When we returned to the dorm that night, I debated whether or not I should tell anyone. I wanted so badly to pull Donghyuck aside, or even call my dad. But it was obvious that Yukhei had told me information I wasn’t supposed to know. And with the the constant monitoring, I couldn’t imagine the repercussion of the lab finding out the things I now knew.  
It made me wonder though, why had Yukhei waited this long? And how did he know about my dad?  
The date of the experiment was getting closer and closer. We were now only two weeks out, and this new realization had me more nervous than ever. What were we to find in there? Our dreams? Or something else?  
The following day, Yukhei was nowhere to be seen. He would usually give us our schedules and monitor our training throughout the day. Now instead of him, another man was in his place.  
I didn’t dare comment on his sudden absence. I just continued along with the new man as if Yukhei had never been there at all.  
It’s strange, the lab had conditioned us all into such subservience, that we didn’t question a single thing anymore. Maybe that’s why Yukhei chose now to tell me. Close enough to the experiment, and exactly when we had become complacent with the way things are.  
It was working I guess. I hadn’t thought about the oddities I had once questioned in months, and now I was questioning everything again. Only this time I had to question alone.

 

Ch. 14

Two days before the experiment, we all were to attend our one and only press conference. The lab had brought in coaches for us to learn how to speak publically. They taught us how to walk, how to greet reporters and photographers, even how to sit. We were to spend three hours of our normal alloted training with the coaches. It was boring beyond measure, and I couldn’t believe that I was actually yearning for the brutal workouts more than this.  
We were told ahead of time what the questions would be. Things like; “What will you do with the money?” and “What’s the coolest dream you’ve ever had?” Questions that couldn’t even comprehend what we had gone through, and what lied ahead.  
We all were dressed in expensive suits, and shoes that cost enough to pay for my apartment for a year. The press conference was held at the lab’s HQ, which was far from the actual lab. I tried to keep track of the time while we were in the blacked out vans. Trying my hardest to get some sort of bearing as to where that lab might be.  
We eventually arrived in the big city, and paparazzi immediately swarmed our vans. The lab had tons of security already, but hired more for this event. It was overwhelming, stepping out of the van. I had never really been anybody, but now I was all people wanted to talk about.  
Along with the paparazzi, and numerous reporters, there were hundreds of other people trying to catch a peek at us. This would be the first time anyone would be seeing us aside from the photos that were presented when we were announced.  
We are all hurried inside, and up an elevator. With us is Kun, Johnny, the man who replaced Yukhei, and Lee Sooman himself. We hadn’t even met him yet, so to see one of the richest and most controversial people in the world standing only inches from me, I was a little starstruck.  
We are ushered into a side conference room where we are given our final briefing; Don’t speak unless directly addressed. Use the prompts we had practiced. Smile.  
In a matter of minutes we are taken into a large conference hall and sat at a long table facing a room of what look to be at least a hundred reporters and photographers. The flashes from the cameras are blinding and inscecent.  
One by one we stand up, bow, and introduce ourselves. Lee Sooman and Johnny give an introduction into the experiment, details that until now where a secret to the public.  
Then the questions begin. It becomes obvious immediately that Taeyong is a favorite. Apparently his picture from when he was announced went viral and he is now the heartthrob of the world. He’s thrown questions I’m sure he doesn’t care to answer: “What is your ideal type? “Who is you celebrity crush? What’s your skin routine?”  
The immediate flip into stardom is almost too much, and I’m sure Taeyong feels the same. We all still feel like normal people. We are still normal people.  
As I sit there, watching the questions fly, I begin to scan the room, looking at every face. Filling the boredom by counting each person; how many women, how many men, trying to guess what each person goes home to. Trying to guess if they even really care.  
Not long into my scanning, something catches my eye. Someone catches my eye. There’s a man towards the very back of the crowd. He’s tall. He carries no notebook, no camera. His face is almost entirely covered by a low-set baseball cap, and large collared jacket.  
There is something so familiar about the man. How he stands. How he shifts his weight. How he watches. But it just couldn’t be.

<><><><><><><><>

It was now the night before, and I was wide awake. It seemed silly to sleep. I was about to miss almost a year of my life to it. I might as well enjoy reality for a while, even if it wasn’t necessarily the reality I wanted to be in.  
I lay there for a moment, tracing my eyes along the details in the ceiling, counting each little fleck. It had begun to rain about an hour before, and the comfort of the trickling above me was unmatched; a familiarity that transcended any time and place. I lay there listening to the rain and studying the ceiling until a soft knock at the door interrupts.  
It’s late, probably somewhere around two. I crawl out of the massive California king and quietly tip toe over to the door. I open the door ajar, and find Donghyuck standing there.  
“Hi,” he squeaks. “Hi,” I say in return. “I know it’s really late and I’m sorry if I woke you up but, can I just sit with you for a bit?” He asks. “Yeah of course. Come in,” I say, grabbing his arm and closing the door.  
We both climb into bed, the way we used to do at sleepovers when we were younger. I roll onto my side and he rolls onto his so we’re facing each other. It’s funny, even though Donghyuck is this protege, and even though he acts like nothing could ever bother him, in this moment he’s just a kid again. He’s the Donghyuck I met all those years ago on my block. The one that couldn’t even get up onto his brand new bike. The one that was afraid to use the rope swing at the creek. The one that was always way better at Battleship than I was. My best friend.  
“Mark,” Donghyuck whispers. “Yeah?” I say scooting closer. “Are you afraid? For tomorrow I mean?” He asks. I swallow a lump in my throat; “No. Not all. And you shouldn’t be either. It’s just sleep, we both love doing that,” I joke. But again, I was lying, and I’m sure this time he knew that. To my deepest core, I was absolutely and unendingly terrified.  
“Mark, what did they show you in the simulation?” Donghyuck asks. “You know,” I say. “It was your worst dream ever,” He whispers. “That and more. My dad was there. And then he wasn’t. Then it was just me,” I squeak out, tears beginning to form in my eyes.  
Donghyuck leans over and begins to hold me, and I hold his arms in return. “I don’t think I’m going to ever see him again. I could’ve never known that the last time I saw him was the last time entirely,” I weep. “You don’t know that. You don’t know that,” Donghyuck repeats.  
“I mean, even if he’s not dead, he’ll be so sick it won’t even matter,” I say. “Everything matters, at least a little bit,” Donghyuck whispers. “You matter. I matter. Even the crummy things matter, especially when we can’t change them. No matter how this turns out, it all mattered, even if we can’t tell how,” he says.  
He always knew just what to say. And that meant even more because I never knew what to say. Mistake or not, I’m glad he was here with me. I couldn’t imagine going this alone.  
“What did they show you in the simulation?” I ask. “The same. Only I haven’t dreamed it yet,” He whispers. “What do you mean?” I ask. “It wasn’t familiar. But it was too real. Like it could come true,” he says.  
“I was standing in our high school gymnasium. It was dark, and empty. I headed for the doors but they were locked. What was stranger is that through the windows in the door, I could see a light down the hallway. It wasn’t very bright, almost as if the light was coming from a candle about to flicker out. I banged on the door for someone to let me out. There was something unnerving about the empty gym. As if someone was watching me. And I guess someone was. Because when I turned back around, there were suddenly hundreds of surveillance cameras surrounding me. They would move and shake at their own will, as if they were alive. I can’t explain to you how I felt. But, it was terrifying. Suddenly, my hands began to fuse together, and I could feel my feet doing the same. My muscles were becoming solid and my skin started to turn puter. Until. Until I was one of them. I could still think. But I was a camera. Forever.”  
I didn’t know what to say. The simulations were obviously an amalgamation of what we had told Kun. A terrifying fiction that brought our greatest fears to the forefront of our minds and conscious.  
I just held Donghyuck closer. That’s all I could do.

Ch. 15

I didn’t close my eyes, not once. Donghyuck fell asleep in my arms. And I watched in horror as the sun rose, and the clock ticked to seven. I stopped it before the alarm went off. I wanted Donghyuck to sleep beautifully. To enjoy the last unaltered dream he could.  
Soon I could hear some of the other boys moving around in the hallway. It was time. I gently shake Donghyuck awake, and his eyes flutter open. “It’s time to go,” I whisper.  
He sits up, and without saying a word, he throws the blankets off and leaves. I think he was disappointed the dawn came too. Disappointed that the next time his eyes would close, that it would be against his will.  
I get up, and put on my scrubs. I go to the bathroom, and take one final look at myself. The way I am right now. Just me.  
At breakfast, we all look at each other. Face to face. At one point, Taeyong grabs my hand, and I grab Donghyuck’s. Soon we’re all holding hands around the table. Unspoken. Unmoving. As if we’ll never let go. As if we would never want to.  
Soon the escorts are getting us up and moving us out. The walk to the lab is longer than it had ever been. As if they had extended the walkway a mile. We all look out the windows as we walk across, knowing it would be the last time for while. The sun was out, and it illuminated the sliver of hills we could see from the walkway. And although the grass and the trees were bare from the winter chill, I had never seen a more beautiful day in my life.  
We enter the lab, and for the first time, nobody is moving about. Every paper, and every cart in the entire building stood still. Everyone watching us as we marched to the pod room. One step, two step, three step. 43 steps later and we were there, an escort holding the door open. Holding the last portal out.  
In the room is about 30 technicians, some dressed in surgical scrubs and some in simple lab coats. Johnny is there, and the man is there. In the middle of the room, amongst all of the open pods, is Kun. His hands are intertwined and resting at his waist. He’s wearing the same all-beige getup as always, only this time, there is no smile. Just stillness.  
“Everyone gather around,” Kun urges softly, beckoning us to him. We do as we’re told, and surround him. “Welcome all. Today is the day. You have all worked so incredibly hard these past few months, and I know it’s been a long road to get here. I’m sure your muscles ache, and your minds may be at unrest. But know that I am so proud of you. I really am. You all are about to change everything. So do not be afraid. I’ll be waiting for you on the other side.” A tear slips out of Kun’s eye. Just one.  
He quickly wipes it away, and moves back to allow the man to replace him; “Okay. In a moment, you will all strip down, climb in your pods, and will be put to sleep. You will be awakened on November 30th, exactly 10 months from now. During your sleep, your “conscious” if you will, will be transferred to various other participants. Your job is to see how much you can interact with their worlds. How can you change it? How does your existence alter things? I have to warn you all, I do not know what you’ll find in there. But rest assured nothing can hurt you. It’s just a dream after all. Now all of you, take off your scrubs, there’s no time to waste. Good luck.”  
“Wait,” a voice says. It’s Taeyong. “How will we know who’s dreams we’re in? How will we know when we change?” He asks. “It’ll sometimes be hard to discern who’s dream you’re in, I won’t lie to you about that. The fusion of consciousness, isn’t always neat. And as for how you’ll know, well we don’t have the answer to that. You can’t really ask a dog or an ape that kind’ve question,” The man says.  
We all strip down and head to our pods just as we had done two weeks prior. Before I get to mine, I turn around. Donghyuck is already laying in his, but I go over to him anyway. The technician looks at me bewildered. “Hey. I’ll see you later okay,” I say as I take his hand in mine. He smiles up at me; “Dream of me,” he says in a dramatic and humorous tone. I chuckle and we smile at each other. “Bye,” I say letting go of his hand. “Bye Mark,” he says, and I walk back to my pod.  
I lay down in the cool gel as I had done before, and the same technician comes over to me. She hooks my head up to the electrodes again, and begins preparing my hand for the anesthesia. “Good luck in there,” She says, patting me on the chest. “Thank you,” I say, voice beginning to shudder. “Just relax okay. It’s just like going to sleep. It won’t feel like ten months. I promise. It’ll be like waking up tomorrow morning. And I’ll be here.” She strokes my hair, almost like a mother would, and tears begin to fall from my eyes. “Don’t cry,” she says, wiping the tears away. “Don’t cry,” she repeats, this time in a whisper so soft, I can barely hear it.  
“This is going to prick,” she warns, grabbing a needle and sliding it into the vein in my hand. I wince and try to take a deep breath. She grabs the tube that attaches to a bag full of the anesthesia. “You ready?” She asks. “I don’t think I’ll ever be,” I say through heavy breath, “so we might as well do it now.” “Be brave,” she says, squeezing my hand one last time. “Sleep well Mark,” she whispers as she hooks the tube up to my IV.  
She closes the pod, and it almost immediately begins to fill with water. I can’t tell if she’s started the anesthesia drip yet. I don’t feel tired. I stare up at the glimmering surface of the pod. I’m floating in outer space again. Floating. Just floating.

<><><><><><><><><>

Ouch. Ow. What is that. I must’ve gotten some rocks and grit in my bed. I shift on to my side. It’s just as uncomfortable, if not more. It almost feels as if I’m lying on the ground. But why would I be? Did I fall asleep outside?  
I slowly open my eyes. They’re heavy, as if a ton of sand sits on top of each of them. As my eyelids peel open, me willing them with all of my strength, it becomes apparent that I am outside. Very outside. It’s dusk, and the dim horizon is a soft purple. The clouds, black silhouettes. I’m in a desert. The ground is hard, and cracked, and the wind carries dust and small rocks with it, pelting me in the face.  
I get myself up into a seated position and look around. It’s dark, and the desert around me looks expansive. In the distance there are tall mountains that join the clouds by laying high against the sky.  
But there’s something else in the distance as well; a light. It’s a pinprick, way way out there. I get myself to my feet and brush the dirt off. The air is hot and dry. I can feel how chapped my lips are, they’re only seconds away from cracking open and bleeding.  
My legs begin to walk forward, propelled by something beyond my conscious effort. Left, right, towards the distant light.  
It’s not a walk of someone who should be walking. I’m tottering back and forth, tripping every fourth or fifth step. The light is getting closer, but it’s still unclear as to what the source is. Where am I? And how did I end up here? What is the last thing I remember? Nothing. As if I didn’t exist until right now. As if I was birthed through the cracks in the ground. As if that’s how my lips inherited the cracks of its own.  
My eyes open and close, open and close. The landscape twists and turns in a sickening way every time. The mountains lean and swirl, and the sky glimmers, like the scales of a fish. It’s nauseating and beautiful at the same time. I can swear, far off in the distance I can see someone standing, existing like a mirage. It’s a familiar figure, one I’m just imagining to be real. It’s Johnny. I close my eyes for a moment to try and fight the dizziness off. When I open them back up, he’s gone. It must’ve been a mirage after all.  
I continue to walk, all the while struggling to keep my head up until, Boom! My head crashes into a solid mass. It doesn’t hurt, but knocks the wind out of me, pushing me back onto the ground. I lay on my back and look up. It’s a parking garage. Out here. In the desert.  
I get myself to my feet and begin looking for the entrance. I trace my hands along the side of the concrete fortress, my fingertips beginning to bleed from the friction. I find the entrance and begin to go up. I don’t know what I’m looking for, but anything’s better than wandering the desert beyond.  
The parking garage is completely empty. No cars, no people. I climb and climb until I’m on the top floor. There’s nothing up here either. This was starting to get bleak. What am I to do? Someone surely has to come here once in a while? Otherwise why would there be a parking garage out here? I sit down, and tears begin to streak my dusty skin.  
Suddenly I hear what sounds like a rock being kicked behind me. I turn around as quickly as I can and catch a glimpse of something, I can’t tell what. It dashes behind one of the supportive pillars with a flash of yellow.  
“Hello?!” I yell. “Is someone here? Could you help me?” Footsteps, all around me echo through the garage. From behind a far pillar steps out a man in a large, yellow, winter jacket; it’s Yuta. “Yuta! I am so happy to see you! What are you doing here? Where are we?” I yell, running towards him.  
He goes back behind the pillar from which he came, and disappears. By the time I get over there, he’s nowhere to be found. I jerk my head from left to right, my feet spinning me in circles, frantically searching for that familiar face.  
I suddenly spot him, up on the far ledge. I run as fast as I possibly can. Never taking my eyes off him. He remains on the ledge, unlike he had before; “Yuta?” I ask. He continues to stare at me, his heel a centimeter from the edge. “Yuta? How did we get out here? Do you remember anything before this?” I urge.  
He look down at me, smiles and speaks; “期一会の友達,” before falling backwards off of the ledge.  
I try to scream, my mouth agape, but no sound is made. I look over the ledge, fearing what I’ll find. But there’s nothing. He’s gone once again. But there is something down there. It almost looks like a piece of glitter. It’s sparkling, captivating almost. I can’t look away.  
The shine gets bigger and brighter, till it’s almost blinding. I. Can’t. Look. Away. 

Flash.

Ch. 16

“Wake the fuck up!” Water is suddenly filling every orifice in my face. I choke and sit up, gagging for my life. I blink my eyes open, not being able to discern tears from water and snot.  
I’m on an old leather couch. The actual leather is cracked and peeling, and some parts of the couch are held together by massive expanses of silver duct tape.  
The room is dim and windowless. Almost as if it’s a basement. The air smells of cigarettes and cognac, and the floors are vibrating from music in another room.  
Staring down at me is….Yukhei. And on the far side of the room, sat on a couch similar to this one is Jungwoo. He’s staring at me just like Yukhei. He’s gently stirs a drink in his hand before downing the entire thing.  
He gets up off of the couch and crouches down in front of me along with Yukhei. “Mark man, we have to move. Taeyong and his fuckin goons are expecting us. I hope you have an explanation as to why you couldn’t get him the money sooner. If not, we’re fucked,” says Yukhei, pulling me up to my feet. I nod, not knowing what to say. I have literally no idea where I am, let alone where I’m going.  
I look down, I’m wearing a lux purple suit jacket with black dress pants, shoes, and a black turtleneck. My neck and fingers are adorned with innumerable bits of jewelry, all heavy and lined with gold and diamonds.  
Yukhei is dressed in a large, black trench coat which makes him look twice the size he already is. Jungwoo is wearing a simple black suit with a white shirt tucked into it. They both are wearing just as much jewelry as I am, if not more.  
The guys usher me in front of them, Yukhei grabbing a large, black duffle bag as we leave. “Wait did you guys say Taeyong?” I ask, still being pushed from behind. “Yeah? Who else would be busting our balls for $100,000?” Jungwoo chuckles.  
We exit the room and walk down a long red-lit corridor, before entering the main room of the building, or should I say, strip club.  
There are girls dancing all around. On poles, with drinks, on mens’ laps. Money covers the floors, stages, and tables, and the room is alive with intoxication and fornication. Yukhei and Jungwoo walk with their chests up, sauntering through the joint. No one dares put an eye on them. I try to follow suit, but it’s not really me. Yukhei goes behind the bar and whispers into the bartenders ear. The bartender nods, and Yukhei pulls a stack of cash out of his jacket, and places it in the bartender’s hand.  
“Let’s get out of here,” Yukhei says, and Jungwoo and I quietly follow. As we’re leaving I spot a man in the corner of the club. He has girls dancing all around him, so it’s hard to catch his face. But I could swear, if I’m not mistaken, that the man could almost be Johnny.  
We walk outside, it’s night time, but the streets are alive with people, lights, and cars. A valet opens the door to a sleek black car, and the three of us climb in. My heart is pounding. I’m with people I know, sure, but they’re unfamiliar nonetheless.  
Yukhei lights a cigar, then offers me one. I decline. “Bro what the hell is wrong with you all of a sudden? You black out one out of a million times and suddenly you’re a pussy,” Yukhei chuckles as he lights his cigar. I try to play along; “S-sorry, dude, that uh, nap just made me a little out of it. What are we headed to do again?” I ask.  
“Dumbass. Last week you took a few of the boys over to Taeyong’s neck of the woods and stole fuckin dope from him. Dumb move but we almost got away with it. Except one of the dudes on our side fuckin ratted. Now Taeyong wants the money compensation for the dope. But I have a feeling he’ll want to get more out of this meeting than money,” Yukhei explains.  
We eventually pull up to an almost empty depot of some kind. I keep my mouth shut as I can tell Yukhei is steaming from all of my questions. The depot has a sprinkling of old cars and buses surrounding a larger warehouse of some kind. The three of us walk up to the large bay doors of the warehouse and Yukhei proceeds to do a series of knocks on the door.  
Seconds later, the door opens ajar, revealing yet another familiar face; Jaehyun. “Yukhei. I’m glad you could show up. And I see you brought Jungwoo and the shrimp,” Jaehyun laughs.  
He beckons us in and closes the door behind him. The inside of the warehouse is a stark contrast to the outside. It’s plush, with wood everywhere. The ceiling is adorned with a large chandelier. Antique rolls royces are parked around the perimeters, and in the center lies a long, and highly ornate wooden table. At one end, sits three leather chairs which Jaehyun invites us to sit down in. At the other end sits four chairs, all filled with people I already knew; Jaehyun, Sicheng, Doyoung, and Taeyong.  
They’re all drinking scotch out of pristine crystal glasses. Taeyong is swirling his drink slowly as he props his feet up on the table with a smirk.  
“Ah, Mark. It’s so good to see you. It’s a shame we couldn’t catch up last week when you were around here. Can I offer you a drink?” Taeyong asks. “N-no I’m fine. Thank you though,” I stutter. I look over to Yukhei whose eyes are wide with annoyance.  
“And Yukhei. What have you brought in that bag of your’s? A present perhaps? The money?” Taeyong says.  
“Yeah the money’s in this bag Taeyong. Let me just give it to you and we can be done with this,” Yukhei says firmly. “Why are you in such a rush? Don’t you want to spend time among friends? Come now, Yukhei. We’re friends aren’t we?” Taeyong teases. Yukhei says nothing, but instead begins taking the money out of the bag and sliding it across the table.  
As he’s emptying the bag I notice a gun at the bottom, hidden under the money. My eyes go wide, and my stomach flips. “What’s the matter Mark?” Taeyong asks, clearly noticing my distress. “U-uh nothing, sir,” I squeak out. Sir? What the hell am I thinking.  
“Mark could I speak with you privately please?” Taeyong asks. A lump immediately forms in my throat. “Why would you need to do that?” Yukhei asks, standing up. “Don’t worry Yukhei. I just have a few words I’d like to share with my dear friend Mark, and then I can send you all on your way. Trust me,” Taeyong says, walking over to me and taking my hand.  
We walk over to the far side of the room, my heart almost pounding out of my chest. Taeyong leans in, and pulls me close; “You know you’re in a dream right?” He asks. Suddenly everything comes rushing back to me. The article, the lab, the experiment, the fact that right now I’m floating unconscious in a sci-fi-esc pod in the middle of SM’s secret lab.  
Suddenly it’s like I’m seeing everything for the first time. Like the air isn’t so thick with illusion anymore. “Woah. I couldn’t even tell. It felt so real. How did you know this was a dream?” I ask. “Because it’s my dream, and I’ve had this one before,” He whispers.  
“How did you know I wasn’t just part of your own imagination? A part of the dream you made up?” I ask. “Because you’re acting weird as fuck. I was trying to play along until I got the chance to get out of here. I was obsessed with the Godfather as a kid so I’ve now had countless mob-boss dreams. I didn’t even think of the fact that I might have one now,” he says. “Now we got to figure out how the fuck to get out of this looney bin.”  
“How?” I ask. “Well, I’ve only been to one other dream so far, but I have this theory that someone needs to die in order to leave. It doesn’t have to be us, just someone,” He says. “Who’s dream was it?” I ask. “Sicheng’s. It was surprisingly erotic. But some guy choked on an olive from his martini, and suddenly there was a flash, and I ended up here. Have you been to another dream yet?” He asks.  
“Yeah, just one. I think it was Yuta’s,” I say. “And did someone die?” Taeyong presses. “I guess. He jumped off of a parking garage, and then I saw the flash just like you said, and ended up here as well. So does that mean we have to kill someone?” I inquire, fear in my voice.  
“I guess so. Do you guys have any weapons or anything? I don’t think my goons do,” Taeyong says. “Yukhei has a gun in his bag, but I don’t know if I can grab it,” I say. “Just try. Let’s go back to the table and make a whole scene. Then you can grab the gun and shoot me. Or shoot whoever you can,” Taeyong says, suddenly turning back and walking towards the table before I can even agree. He quickly turns back around and asks me a random yet bone-chilling question: “Have you been seeing Johnny?” My eyes widen. How? How does he know? “Yeah.” I answer, my voice quivering. “In Yuta’s dream and in your’s.” Taeyong nods his head and continues back to the table.  
I follow, and walk back to my end of the table. I sit back down in the chair, and Taeyong does the same. “Well gentlemen, it looks like we’ve taken care of the business we need to. It’s been such a pleasure seeing you all,” Taeyong plays up. “We’ll be going then,” Yukhei says, standing up from his chair and gathering his things. In a spur of the moment, I grab the gun from his duffle bag, and things almost seem to move in slow motion.  
I crawl up onto the table and point the gun at Taeyong. Doyoung and Jaehyun quickly pull out guns and face them at me. I guess his goons did have weapons. “Mark what the fuck are you doing?!” Shouts Yukhei. “I’m not sure!” I yell back. I pull the trigger, and not one second later, bullets are being fired in every direction. I’m knocked back off of the table, blood now gushing from my chest. It doesn’t hurt though, but I can feel the stickiness of the blood.  
I turn my head over and see Yukhei and Jungwoo lying motionless on the ground beside me. Blood pools out of Yukhei’s mouth. I quickly close my eyes. Even though I know it’s not real, that doesn’t make it any less horrifying. The room is now silent as everyone lays cold and motionless. I turn onto my back and look up to the chandelier. It’s now in shambles from the bullets that went flying. The crystals that remain shimmer in shine in a way I hadn’t noticed before. It’s intoxicating. I can’t look away. 

Ch. 17  
“Mark! Mark? Mark!” My eyes shoot open. “Mark. Dude what do you wanna do? I seriously don’t wanna just sit in Donghyuck’s basement for the third night in a row and play Smash,” says Jeno. “Bro. You’re just fucking lame. Besides, everyone knows you just wanna do something else because you suck ass at Smash,” chuckles Jaemin as he and Donghyuck wrestle with their controllers.  
Jisung, Renjun, and Chenle are on the far couch playing on a 3DS. Jeno and I are seated on the other couch, and Donghyuck and Jaemin sit directly in front of us on the floor.  
“Anyway. I say we do something we haven’t done in a long time,” Jeno says to the group. “What are you suggesting?” Chenle says from the other couch, eyebrow raised. “What I’m suggesting is we do some bad shit,” Jeno says with a smirk.  
“Dude, you can’t seriously be suggesting a graffiti race are you?” Asks Jaemin. “That’s exactly what I’m suggesting. We haven’t done one in so long, and soon most of us are gonna be in college. This is our last chance to do it together,” Jeno pleads.  
“Bro last time we did a graffiti race, Jaemin and I got caught by the cops. We’re thankful he just let us off with a warning, but I was still grounded for like two months,” Renjun says.  
“Well then just be more careful this time. C’mon guys it’ll be fun. Please. Just one last time,” Jeno begs. The groups looks at each other, smiles beginning to curl the corners of their lips.  
“Fine. Do you have spray paint?” Jaemin asks, getting up off of the ground.

<><><><><><><><>

We all stand outside Donghyuck’s house mounted on our bikes, spray cans in hand. “Alright, for those of you who don’t remember the rules, you have to make it to the far side of town in exactly one hour, all while spraying your logo on anything and everything you can. The subway and rooftops are extra points, but you’ll have to abandon your bike to do that. Take a picture of the graffiti with you in it, so we know you did it. Whoever gets to the construction site on the far side of town with the most graffiti pictures in one hour, wins,” Jeno explains. “Oh, and watch out for the fucking cops,” he chuckles in Renjun’s direction. “Okay, it’s 7:45 now. See you at 8:45. Go!”  
We all take off on our bikes going every which way. Jaemin, Jisung, and Renjun immediately break off from the group and take back streets. The rest of us go right up the main avenue. I’m not familiar with where I am but for some reason I know where to go.  
The city in question is somewhere between metropolitan and small town suburban. There are tall buildings that loom in the distance, blocking the blinding rays of the almost set sun.  
The four of us weave in and out of each other, trying our best to avoid cars while also riding as fast as we can in the streets. Wherever we are, it’s summer time. Even with the waning sun, the air is still warm as we ride past houses and small businesses.  
As we’re passing a mechanic shop, Jeno pulls his bike over and the rest of us do the same. He begins to spray paint a large green ‘J’ on the old doors of the shop. We all begin to open our cans of paint, and shake them up. “You guys can’t just follow me around and spray the same shit I do,” he says. “Shut up Jeno,” Donghyuck playfully chuckles. “You’re just nervous you’re going to get your ass whooped, especially since we’re coming up on the outskirt apartments. I’m gonna spray paint every single roof in that place.”  
We all spray the doors. I make my logo a coyote. Nothing fancy, just a couple lines and some teeth. The four of us get back on our bikes and ride farther into town. Soon we’re surrounded by old, ramshackle apartments stacked on top of each other. The apartments had clearly seen better days. Some windows were lit, but most of them were pitch dark.  
Donghyuck suddenly stops his bike and throws it down on the sidewalk. He stumbles into a side alleyway, and the rest of us follow.  
It’s hard to see in the alleyway, the light of the sun being almost completely eaten up by the horizon beyond. Donghyuck quickly jumps up onto a ladder that’s hanging off the side of one of the apartments. Jeno and Chenle follow him while I hesitate on the ground. The ladder is rusty, and the screws that secure it to the building shift and creak as if they could pop off at any moment.  
“Mark you pussy, get up here,” Jeno yells from the ladder. I take a deep breath and begin ascending. The ladder is just as shaky as it looks, and my hands are coated in sweat making each grab slick and uncoordinated.  
Eventually we all reach the top where Jeno takes off running. He quickly spray paints the rooftop, taking a rapid picture then continuing his pace. A pace that is sending him closer and closer to the edge of the roof.  
We all spray our logos, taking a picture to make sure we receive points and watch as Jeno disappears over the ledge. The three of us gasp in disbelief until: “See you guys later, I’m winning this thing!”  
The three of us run to the edge only to realize this building is smashed up against another, and that one is smashed up against the next and so on. Jeno had only dropped a few feet and was now a building and a half ahead of us, jumping from one apartment complex to the next.  
We look at each other for a moment before Donghyuck jumps, Chenle and I following closely behind. We run across the rooftops, quickly spraying our crude drawings. All the while huge, neverending smiles find residence on our faces. In the moment, there seemed to be nothing better than this. Nothing better than the feeling of being young and out of control.  
Eventually the four of us make it to the last building and begin to climb down the stairs of the fire escape. A floor or two down, Jeno stops at one of the apartment windows. “Guys come look at this,” he whispers, ushering us to look. The apartment is dark, but the final light of the sun dimly illuminates the interior.  
“Do you guys see that?” Jeno asks. For a moment, I’m scanning the apartment, trying desperately to see what he sees. Then all at once, I catch a glimpse at what he’s talking about. On the far side of the room, is a safe. It’s obvious how it had caught his eye. The safe is a bright white marble which starkly contrasts the rest of the room.  
“Let’s go take a peek as to what’s inside shall we?” Jeno says climbing in through the window. “Jeno man, don’t. Let’s just go,” Chenle says nervously. Donghyuck beings to climb in the window after Jeno; “You two are such pussies, just come on.” I follow in after Donghyuck and Chenle follows in behind me.  
The apartment is almost pitch dark, as we tip toe through. Jeno makes it to the safe first where he begins to examine it. “What do y'all think the combination is?” He asks. “Literally how would we know?” Chenle says, his eyes darting around the room. “This is so stupid. There’s probably not even anything in there.”  
“Yeah, but what if there is?” Jeno says pressing his ear against the safe and turning the lock. “I just thought we were gonna do this stupid race and go home,” Chenle says. “Shh, I think I almost got it,” Jeno whispers.  
With a click the safe pops open. The three of us stand wide-eyed at the fact that Jeno was able to get it open. “What are you? A fucking bank robber?!” Donghyuck exclaims.  
“Nothing in here huh?” Jeno smirks as he reaches into the safe, pulling out bounded stacks of cash. “Oh shit,” Chenle whispers, grabbing some of the cash himself.  
The four of us sit there, euphoria almost glossing our eyes over as we begin to pocket the stacks. We’re so distracted by the fact that we had actually unlocked the safe that we don’t even notice the front door click open.  
“What’s going on here?!” We hear from behind us. We turn around only to see a woman and her husband standing in the doorway of the apartment, hands full of groceries. “Go!” Jeno shouts. “Run!”  
In seconds, the four of us are scrambling out of the window and down the fire escape, the couple hot on our tails. “You sons of bitches won’t get away with this! The cops are on their fucking way!” The man yells from behind us.  
“What do we do?!” Donghyuck yells as we run down the street. “Our fucking bikes!” Chenle exclaims. “We can’t go back for them, we’ll just have to pick em up later,” Jeno says.  
We run down streets and behind buildings. Weaving our way deeper and deeper into the city. Suddenly we hear sirens, and they’re not far off.  
“Fuck!” Jeno yells. “If we can just make it to the subway we might be able to lose them!” He says. We begin to run faster, the sound of our old sneakers hitting the pavement echoing off of the buildings.  
Eventually we make it to the subway entrance. The subways have all stopped running by now, so the turnstiles are bound to be locked. But with the police lights at our backs, we have no other choice at this point.  
We run down into the underground, and we can hear the police pull up above us. We jump the turnstiles and begin running like we had never run before. I can tell this test of endurance is wearing on Chenle, and he begins to fall behind. “C’mon man we have to go,” I say urging him on. “I can’t,” he pants. “We got ourselves into this shit, maybe we should just suffer the consequences.”  
I can hear the police coming down into the subway with their dogs, they’ll be on us any minute now. “Please man, you gotta try,” I say. He begins to pick up his speed again and soon the two of us are caught back up to Donghyuck and Jeno.  
“Stop running, all of you!” The cops shout from behind us. But we just keep running, getting deeper and deeper into the city’s underbelly.  
“We will get the dogs on you if you do not stop!” They yell. Suddenly Chenle stops altogether, and I do the same. A dog comes whizzing past us and takes Jeno to the ground. Donghyuck drops to his knees as soon as he sees the dog. Officers are on us in seconds, throwing our hands in cuffs.  
“Drop him!” shouts an officer at the dog. Jeno is screaming so loudly, it could curdle my blood, but the dog doesn’t let go. “I said drop him!” Shouts the officer again, striking the dog. The voice of the officer is so familiar. So familiar.  
The dog doesn’t let go, and continues to rip and crunch. Jeno’s screams slowly begin begin to fade as he chokes and gasps. The officer, draws his gun and puts a bullet into the dog’s head. The dog immediately goes limp, releasing his grip on Jeno. He lays there, unmoving. The officer crouches down as another officer approaches.  
Jeno is almost unrecognizable, his face and neck basically raw and bloodied meat at this point. The first officer places his hand against Jeno’s neck and then shakes his head. “He’s gone,” he says in a hushed tone before turning to the three of us. My jaw almost drops to the floor as he turns. It’s exactly who I thought it was. But it isn’t who I wanted to see.  
“Officer Seo!” A third cop yells. “You just take the rest of the kids up and I’ll call in a team to take care of this okay?!” Johnny nods and grabs the three of us up off the ground.  
We’re all pale as ghosts. There is no disputing that what we had just seen was horrific. Tears are streaming down Chenle’s face, but he’s silent.  
We make it up out of the subway and Johnny puts Donghyuck and Chenle in one car, and me in another. As he’s closing my door, he crouches down, and stares me in the eyes; “This isn’t what I wanted to happen. You understand? He made the wrong decision,” Johnny says. “But just know, I’ll give him the chance to try again.”  
He closes my door and I’m left staring at the lights flash from the other cars. They’re so bright. Almost blinding this close up. Almost.

Ch. 18

Back. Back to the womb. Back to the honeycomb and the trees and the everything that made anything good. Back to piano keys that made enough sense. Back to blades of grass. Back to….

Home.

I open my eyes. So slowly. So slowly. Like a baby for the first time. My lids tremble and my spine settles. Blue. All I see is blue.  
The most beautiful blue. I wish you could see it. Think about the most beautiful blue you’ve ever seen. Please. It was that.  
Now there’s white. A little. Just a tuft. So small in all that blue. But it’s not afraid. It belongs there. Here comes it’s friend. Another tuft of white. And another. And a few more. All of them, finding life in the blue.  
Now there’s a tree. And maybe even a house. A house.  
I squeeze my hand softly, ripping up some of the earth below. It smells like every time you were happy. It feels like it too. This place. I know it. Maybe.  
My eyelids feel heavy. Heavy with magic. Heavy with okayness. With safety. Like I could float away and become a white tuft in all that blue.  
“Mark,” a whispers calls. My vision goes in and out of focus. Blue. Green. A little bit of yellow. “Mark,” the voice whispers again. Wait. I don’t think it’s the same voice as before. Or maybe it is. I can’t tell.  
“Mark. Up here Mark,” the voices say. Is it the tufts? I reach my hand up. Trying so desperately to connect. Trying so desperately to make sense.  
“Mark. Up here. In the tree,” say the voices again, this time with more urgency. I lean my head to the side to examine the tree before me. It’s a large oak. One with thick branches that are easily climbed. One that you had in your front lawn. One I had in mine.  
Maybe one day you climbed too high and someone had to get you down. Or maybe you broke your first bone falling out of it. I’m not sure. I’m just guessing.  
The leaves of the tree block the sun from getting to me, and it seems as if the roots are reaching out through the dirt to cradle my body.  
“Mark,” say the voices once more. On one of the lower branches, no more than ten feet up the tree, sits Renjun and Chenle. They have themselves wrapped in a large quilt, and are giggling to themselves.  
They hold something in their hands, but I can’t quite make out what it might be. They look down at me, and I, up at them. They smile and take the object out from underneath the quilt. It’s a small handheld mirror. Renjun tilts it in his hands, letting the light from the sun reflect off, and land on my cheek. The feeling is soft, and warm, and the ray of light creates a small rainbow in the air.  
If I could live in a kaleidoscope I surely would, if it felt this way at least. If I could find myself simply by laying on the ground and staring up at the sky. If only it was that easy. If only-  
I sit up suddenly. The realization floods through me, saturating my bones and filling my lungs. This isn’t real. I’m dreaming. I’m not very good at this. Being lucid. Being aware. I hadn’t been in the lab’s simulations, and I’m no better here. But I know that this isn’t real.  
I get to my feet and approach the boys in the tree. “Hey,” I say softly. “Hey Mark. We thought you might never get up,” Renjun chuckles. “D-do you guys know this is a dream?” I ask. “Do you?” Chenle says back. “Yeah. I do. That’s why I asked. I’m just trying to figure out who’s it is. Is it either of yours?” I ask.  
“Why don’t you look around Mark?” Renjun says. I turn my head left and right. Up and down. There is something so ingrained about this place. About the soil. About the street. It’s- my house. Or, the one from my childhood at least. This is my dream.  
“I-it’s my dream!” I exclaim, turning back around to face the boys. But they’re gone. “Renjun? Chenle?” I call out. Suddenly a flicker of flight hits my peripheral. I turn around and there they are, leaning against the side of my house. They laugh and run through the front door.  
I follow them, calling out as I go. I can’t believe I’m here. Even if it isn’t real. It’s so detailed. My mind had remembered it all. Tucked the sights and the sounds away, so I would have them forever.  
As I walk through the doorway, I run my hands against the worn wood. Everything is exactly how it was before we moved. The table has a cloth over it, and cereal boxes line the back of the counter. It smells the same too. A smell I never thought I’d encounter again.  
I walk upstairs, abandoning my pursuit of the boys. It’s all here. All of our pictures. All of everything. I go into my room. It’s how it was when I was 10. My bed covered in race car sheets, and my little league trophies collecting dust on my dresser.  
I remember when things were this way. When it seemed like nobody was hurt. When my dad wasn’t sick. When my mom didn’t worry. Things I’ll never get back.  
I sit down on my bed, and run the sheets between my fingers. Across from me is a shelf filled with books. Books I haven’t seen in a decade. Books I’m sure are far away from me in my waking hours. My parents would always read to me every night. It’s something I treasure deeply now, and if I ever have kids of my own I’ll do the same for them.  
I suddenly hear what sounds like a TV turn on from down the hall. I cautiously stand up from my bed and tiptoe down the hall towards a far room. As I turn the corner, I notice that it’s the guys. Chenle, Renjun, Jeno, Jisung, Jaemin, and Donghyuck. They’re all sat around and almost comically small TV. It’s almost as if the six of them are in a trance. None of them move. All of them glued to the TV.  
I walk in front of them, waving my hands to catch their attention, but they stay like statues. I turn my eyes to the monitor; it’s just the news. A woman is giving a blase report on a local event.  
I turn back to the guys, shaking them, slapping their faces, anything to get them to snap out of this. The TV continues to drone in the background, the boys’ eyes never turning away. I’m not paying attention to a word that’s being said on the news report, until something catches my attention.  
The news woman finishes her report and begins to segue back; “And now I’m going to go ahead and throw it back to Johnny in the studio.”  
The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I slowly turn around to face the TV once more. “Thank you for that report. Now I’d just like to turn your attention for a second. Mark. I know you’re watching this,” Johnny says through the TV. My hands burst with sweat, and stomach flips.  
“Mark you know this isn’t real. The house. The yard. Your room. None of it. In fact, how can you even be sure I’m real? I want you to listen very closely to me Mark. We only spoke briefly previously, but I want you to think back to your friend Jeno. I want you to think back to the subway Mark. How you just went along with what he said. How you all just went along. What does that say about you Mark? Do you remember what happened to Jeno in that subway Mark?”  
My memories of the past dreams are minimal and blurry. I remember the bikes, the city. I remember we were running, but I’m not entirely sure why. I remember the sirens, how they echoed through the empty subway. And Jeno. I remember him.  
“You do remember, don’t you Mark?” Johnny asks. “You remember how he screamed? How the dog wouldn’t stop?” “Stop it!” I yell, tears beginning to form. “How because of your wrong decision, your friend died before you?” Johnny continues. “I told you I’d give him another chance. But what would happen if you didn’t get the same? We told you to see how you could change things and yet you decided to change nothing.”  
“It wasn’t my fault,” I say meekly at the TV, tears still forcing their way out of my eyes. “I’m just not very good at this whole subliminal thing, I don’t know.” “Not your fault Mark?” Johnny says in return. Even though this is a dream, I’m still caught off guard at his response through the television. “You could’ve stopped him Mark. You all could have. What matters to you most? Fitting in? Or justice?” Johnny pushes.  
“Why are you asking me all this?! It was just a dream!” I cry out, my voice cracking. “Because Mark. We need you to know what is right. We need you all to know what is right.” Johnny says. The screen goes black, and the room is silent. “No! Come back!” I say, slamming my fists against the blank screen. I turn back around and the guys are gone.  
I run outside, desperately trying to find anyone. But like in the simulation, all I end up finding is, me. My doppleganger is up in the tree Renjun and Chenle had been in before. He’s holding that same plastic bags filled with water as he had in the simulations. My hands shake. I know what’s coming next.  
“Don’t,” I say softly. The clone only looks on, gently swinging the bags in his hand. “Please,” I ask again. He just looks at me. Swinging the bags. Staring endlessly. “What do you want!” I yell. “I’m sorry I didn’t change things. Just give me another chance. I can change things I promise.”  
“Mark?” Says a voice softly from behind me. I turn around. It’s my dad. But not how he was when I left him; bald and sick, barely able to move some days.  
It’s my dad how he was before; lively, funny, cheeks flushed. “Dad!” I yell out, embracing him. “Mark. Why did you do this?” He says, hugging me back. “You told me to. I did this for you,” I say, crying into his shirt.  
“For me?” He says, genuine shock filling his voice. “Yes. For you. I do everything for you dad. I love you. Mom loves you,” I weep. “Mark,” he says, pulling me away. “Don’t live for me okay? I won’t be seeing you anymore. But that doesn’t mean you can’t live for you. Do you understand me?” He says firmly. “But I want to dad! I just want to be with you!” I cry out. “You will. Some day. Tell your mother I love her. I’m so proud of you.” He says softly, letting me go and walking into the house, closing the door behind him.  
I blink, and suddenly, I’m across the street, and my house is ablaze. “Dad!” I scream. I try to run towards the house. I run and I run. I’m only across the street. The fire rages and burns. The viciousness of the flames almost blind me Please. Just let me get over there. Please. Please…

Ch. 19

The ground shakes and rumbles beneath me. All around I can hear the sounds of rocks falling and gravel shifting. My eyes shoot open.  
I’m standing in a far field. About a quarter mile away in the distance, stands a decrepit farm house. The ground continues to vibrate, sometimes violently, but mostly just a soft hum. I begin to walk towards the house, each footstep feeling heavier than the last.  
This time, I am hyper aware of the fact that I am only dreaming. So aware in fact, that I can feel the line of fantasy and reality tugging at my bones.  
I make it to the farm house. There is an old piano out front, and a pile of TV’s. The house on closer inspection is past even decrepit. It’s next to unliveable. The roof is caved in, and nails and old shards of wood litter the yard.  
I look into the windows; no one. “Hello?” I yell out into the vast surroundings. “Is anyone here?!” I ask again.  
“Mark?” A voice says. From behind the rubble, a figure dressed in red steps out; it’s Ten. Something is off about him. His walk is staggered, and the look in his eyes is distant. “M-Mark,” he stutters, falling into my arms. “Ten what happened to you?” I ask. “There is nothing,” he says. “Nothing.”  
“Ten it’s going to be okay. You’re just dreaming,” I say, lifting him back onto his feet. “Dreaming?” He asks. “Yes, this is just a dream. None of it is real. None of it can hurt you.” I assure him.  
“That’s not true. You’re lying!” He shouts, pushing me away. “No I’m not. Don’t you remember? The experiment? The lab? You’re just asleep right now,” I say, trying my best to calm him down.  
He begins to weep; “I’ve been so alone Mark. It gets so cold here at night. So very cold. And the ravens. They won’t leave me alone. They pick at my legs.” He raises his pants to reveal numerous, deep puncture wounds. Some are bleeding profusely, and some even look infected.  
“What have they done to you?” I whisper to myself. “You haven’t seen anyone?” I ask. “No one. Not a single goddamn person has come for me!” He cries. There is a pause. His demeanor suddenly switches, almost as if a light has turned on inside of his head.  
He approaches me again; “Mark, let me show you something,” he says, taking my hand. He leads me around the side of the barn and into a side door. We stop in the middle of the small remains of a room. Ten bends down and begins to rip up the old, matted carpet from off of the ground. I just stand and watch in confusion, and perhaps even fear, as he pulls and peels the carpet up, slowly revealing the wood floor underneath.  
Etched into every inch of the wood are slashes. Not just any slashes though. He had been measuring something. “Ten? What have you been noting with these?” I ask warily, almost petrified at what he might say. “How many days have passed in here,” He says bluntly.  
“Passed?” I ask. “How long we’ve been dreaming,” he responds. “So you do know you’re in a dream?” I ask. “Most of the time. You snapped me out of it. It’s this place. It’s poisoning my mind Mark. They said other people would come. But no one has. Not until you,” He says.  
“How do you know this is accurate?” I ask. “How can you perceive time in here?” “Because I can feel it Mark. I had my suspicions about this dream in particular. About my dream the first few days I was here. The time began to be predictable, like in the real world. The sun would rise and set just like it does. I could feel that time was passing. That this was no ordinary dream. We’ve been in here almost nine months. And I’ve experienced every day of it,” He says, grief in his eyes.  
“Oh my god. Are you serious?” I exclaim. Tears begin to glass his eyes over; “There is something wrong Mark. About this place. About this experiment. I think they’re manipulating our dreams Mark. I think they’ve infiltrated our conscious beyond what we had expected,” He whispers. “But why do this to you? This is practically torture,” I say.  
“Maybe that’s the point. To put us face to face with what we fear most. Why? I’m not sure I could tell you,” he says. “Have you been afraid Mark? Have you seen things you can’t unsee?” He asks.  
“Yes,” I whisper. The images of the past dreams flash before my eyes. The sound of Johnny’s voice echo in the recesses of my mind. “Why haven’t you tried getting out?” I ask. “I don’t know how,” he says. “I’ve tried everything in the book. I’ve tried to drown myself, hang myself, jump off the highest point I can find, but nothing ever works. How have you made it here?” He asks.  
“Well, someone has to die. I didn’t know that at first, but I bumped into Taeyong a few dreams back, and he had figured it out. I guess it’s the same concept as when you’re falling in a dream, and just before you hit the ground, you wake up. Only this time, instead of waking up in the real world, we wake up in another dream,” I explain. “But you haven’t done that, have you?”  
“No,” he responds coldly. “I’ve just been here. I don’t eat. I don’t drink. I don’t sleep. I just exist in this place. Alone.” “Then why am I here suddenly?” I ask. “I don’t know. I honestly don’t,” Ten says.  
The ground shakes violently, and the weak frame holding the already destroyed house together, creaks and sways. “I think this dream is falling apart,” Ten says, grabbing my arm. “For the past few weeks, the ground has shook like it never has before. My unconscious reality is beginning to deteriorate.” “What do you mean?” I ask.  
“The mind isn’t meant to be under this kind of stress,” Ten explains. “There is something deeply wrong.”  
We leave the house and the ground continues to shake. “Ten, can I tell you something?” I ask. “What is it?” He says in return. “Two weeks before the experiment, Yukhei told me something. Something I don’t think I was supposed to know.” “What? What is it?” Ten presses.  
“He told me that it wasn’t a coincidence that we had been chosen. And that this experiment wasn’t what it seemed to be. And he told me something else. Something I’m not completely sure about…” I trail off. “What was it? Tell me Mark,” Ten asks with fervish curiosity. “The way I found out about all this was through my dad. He had showed me a newspaper article about it. He was earnest on me applying. And I’m still not sure why. But Yukhei knew about my dad somehow. He knew that my dad wanted me to do this. I think he knew why my dad wanted me to do this. But I guess I don’t,” I say. “But after Yukhei spoke with me, that’s when he disappeared,” I continue. “Do you think?” Ten asks. “That SM wasn’t happy about him telling me what he did? Yeah. 100%,” I say.  
Suddenly, the ground beneath us starts to crumble and fall away. We jump out of the way, but the hole just continues to expand. “What do we do?!” Ten yells out. “I don’t know! Just run!” I scream.  
We begin to run into the vast nothingness beyond. We can hear the Earth falling away behind us, crashing into the darkness below.  
This is only a dream. But obviously things are not what they seem. The dream is falling apart. Ten’s conscious is falling apart. And perhaps mine was as well.  
Ten suddenly stops, but the Earth keeps crumbling. “Ten what are you doing?!” I yell back at him. “Why are we running Mark?” Ten yells out, voice straining. “I just thought that it really doesn’t make any sense actually. I want to be somewhere else. Come with me Mark. It’s only a dream,” he says, holding out his hand.  
The ground below gains on him, sucking him down into the depths below. I think whether I should continue to run or not.  
The ground begins to crumble faster. I now have no choice. I’m tired of running. And more than that, I’m tired of being afraid. Whatever is to come, I just hope it’s not this.  
As the grass and soil falls away, closer and closer. I take a deep breath. I hope I’m making the right decision. The abyss is almost on top of me. I jump.

Ch. 20

“They’re in here! Get the medics in here right now!” “I don’t know if he’s breathing!” “Start CPR!” “Get them into ambulances now!”  
I’m being lifted. I’m being taken. “Hey!” Distant. It’s all distant. “Hey. Wake up for me okay? Can you hear me? Hey Wake up!” Bright. It’s all too bright.  
“I can’t tell how old he is. He’s so emaciated I’m not sure.” “We just need to get him in an ambulance and get vitals on him as soon as we can. Can someone hand me a blanket or a towel so I can wrap him up?!”  
“Hey? Hey. Can you open your eyes for me? I just want to know if you’re in there. Please wake up. Please.”

<><><><><><><><><><>

I woke up a week later. My mom had come by while I slept, and even my extended family had come and dropped off flowers and cards for me. I couldn’t stand, but the nurses would wheel me outside once a day to enjoy the cooling air of fall.  
We had to be taken outside at night, so as to avoid the unending slew of cameras wondering what had happened. I’m not even sure what happened.  
Every once in awhile, I would see one of the guys. They looked terrible. Hair long. Faces gaunt. Eyes holding the weight of a thousand lifetimes.  
We weren’t allowed to talk to each other before we formally sat down and talked with the police. In fact, we weren’t allowed to talk to anyone. Not until we told our story to the police.  
The hospital had doubled security 24/7. The press was starting to get crafty.  
Sometimes I wouldn’t sleep for days on end. I didn’t want to sleep, and more than that, I didn’t want to dream. I would sit in my hospital room window, peering out over the neverending barrage of news vans and paparazzi, all trying for a chance to score an interview, or even a picture of one of the 15 dreamers.  
I was prohibited to go anywhere for another few weeks, at least until I got my strength up, and my immune system back on track.  
I would ask about my dad. I would ask about the lab. I would try my hardest to sneak out and talk with the other guys. But I couldn’t muster up the strength. And I wasn’t allowed any answers then. 

<><><><><><><><>

 

As soon as they started me on physical therapy, and I was gaining more and more strength by the day. I pressed more and more to talk to someone. I wanted to know the truth. I deserved the truth.  
Eventually they gave in, and I was taken to a private conference room in the far end of the hospital. In the room sat an officer, a nurse, and a lawyer I was assigned.  
“Hi Mark,” The officer smiles. “I hear you have some questions for me. And luckily enough I might have some answers for you at this time.”  
“I’ll be honest with you though Mark. The truth is something beyond what even I had thought. I think you might know that this experiment wasn’t quite what they said it was. Is that correct?” He asks. “I guess. I honestly don’t know much at all,” I say.  
The officer shifts slowly in his chair, leaning forward so as to meet my gaze even closer. “Mark. I’m just going to start by asking you if you want the bad news, or the worse news first,” the officer asks. “I guess there’s no good news?” I ask softly. “No,” the officer says. “There isn’t.”  
“Tell me the worse news first. Tell me quick. Like a bandaid,” I say, voice strained. “Mark. I’m so sorry I have to be the one to tell you this but, your father is dead.” Tears begin to involuntarily stream from my face. The nurse hands me a tissue, and I wipe my leaking nose. “I-I guess I always knew this was coming. He was sick. I just wish I could’ve have seen him,” I croak out.  
The officer leans back in his chair, and an unfamiliar look fills his eyes. A look that says everything before the words even leave his mouth. “Well,” he gulps. “That’s the thing Mark. It wasn’t the cancer that killed him. Mark, your father was murdered. Suffocated in his sleep.”  
My blood runs ice cold. I can feel my pupils shake and my stomach churn in knots. I reach for the nearby trashcan and throw up violently into it. The nurse rubs my back and hands me another tissue to wipe my mouth with. “That’s more than enough for today. Mark is still very weak,” The nurse says towards the officer as she reaches for my wheelchair.  
“No!” I yell. “I want the truth. And I want all of it!” The nurse sits back down, and the officer clears his throat. “Who killed him?!” I shout, voice raspy from the acid. “It was them?! Wasn’t it?!” Tears boil over till my vision is completely compromised. I can feel the veins in my head bulging from the sobs. The officer reaches for a small bag he carries with him, pulling out a manila folder.  
He pulls out a sheet of paper and slides it down to me. “Do you know who that is?” He asks me. I take my sleeve, and blow my nose into it before looking down at the paper. It’s just a picture. A picture of someone I know too well. “I-it’s Yukhei,” I say, my hands shaking. “Yes. Wong Yukhei. He worked at the lab while you were there. Didn’t he?” He asks. “Yes. But then-” I stop. “But then he told you something didn’t he? Something you weren’t supposed to know. And then he disappeared,” the officer says. “He told you about your dad.” “H-how do you know?” I ask. “Because Yukhei told me,” he responds.  
“You know your dad worked for SM previously don’t you?” The officer asks. “Of course I do. And that’s why I found it strange that he would want me to do something for his ex-company,” I say. “Especially since he was let go.”  
“I’m glad you found it strange, because we did too. Mark, when your dad worked for SM, they started their early stages of dream technology. This was much before Johnny Seo ever became the head of the department. The lab fantasized about what they could do with the technology, with the power they might have. Your father was afraid of what might happen if the technology fell into the wrong hands. So he began poking around in things he wasn’t supposed to, and he was let go because of it,” the officer explains.  
“I always thought it was a more mutual separation,” I say. “I can assure you your dad was a danger in the eyes of Lee Sooman; a rich man always looking to get just a little bit richer. But your father being let go didn’t stop him. He continued to follow SM’s research and planning through insider spies. Your friend Yukhei is one such person,” says the officer. “The spies would report back to him, and over the years he had built up quite the profile on SM. Then when this experiment came around, he knew he wouldn’t be able to do it himself, so he sent you in his place.”  
“Why not just send one of his spies?” I ask. “Because you were exactly what the lab wanted. And more than anything it was because he trusted you the most,” the officer explains. “A-and what did that lab want most?” I ask. “Young, healthy men,” says the officer bluntly. “Why?” I ask, afraid of what his answer may be. “Because they wanted to build an army Mark,” he says. “An army?” I ask.  
“Back when the dream lab was in it’s beginnings, the military reached out to SM labs under the table. They were interested in the prospect of creating a completely subservient force. They were interested in the power of dreams. Of being able to infiltrate your deepest subconscious in order to control you to their desires. They took advantage of the fact that you all are young. They knew you would be more nieve, more willing to trust what they said. Moreover, your brains would hold much more elasticity. Weren’t you ever curious as to why they had physically trained you so hard? How they had gotten their hands on such a serum as 127UV? All of this was to prepare you like you were a soldier. Building you up on the outside, just to wear you down on the inside. All to make you the perfect, mindless soldier.”  
“Mark, did you ever see Dr. Seo in there? While you were sleeping I mean?” The officer asks. Suddenly, all is still. My hands stop shaking. I look up and ask the officer a question I already know the answer to; “How do you know?” “Strangely, when we made our way into the lab, we noted that there were 16 pods, instead of 15. As we began to crack the open, and find you all inside, we found that Dr. Seo was in one as well. He was putting himself in your subconscious. He was trying his hand at manipulating the dreams to meet his employers standards,” he explains.  
“And who was were his employers?” I ask. “We still have yet to get names. All of the information we’ve acquired thus far has come from SM’s Director of Psychology. Oh, what’s his name?” The officer asks, squinting his eyes in thought. “It’s Kun,” I say firmly. “Qian Kun.” “Ah yes, Kun. That’s right. He’s been invaluable to the success of this case. You know, he feels a lot of guilt for being involved in this. I think he genuinely cares for you all. But guilt and information won’t save him completely,” the officer explains.  
There’s a pause for a moment, as I think back to the last time I had seen Kun. Right before we had been put into the pods. It makes sense now. His demeanor, the lack of his trademark smile. How he had broken the rules to give us a better life at the lab. How he genuinely cared how we felt. That we weren’t just numbers on paper. That even though we had all been chosen at random, it felt as if we were all special to him. But wait-  
“My dad wanted me to go in his place correct? But if it was a lottery, how would he know I would get in for certain?” I ask. “Because he rigged it Mark,” the officer says bluntly. “Or more like, Yukhei rigged it. Nothing was a coincidence. Nothing in this was left to chance. You’re name had been chosen before you had even applied.I don’t think your father had expected Yukhei to be kicked out, but he was watching you nonetheless. Unfortunately, SM’s goons got word of what your father had been doing. And they...well, you know,” The officer says, looking down.  
“But he must’ve knew it was coming because he tipped us off about the lab. He gave us years and years of inside audio, and photographs. Files and paperwork. It was all there.”  
“So what happens now?” I ask. “I’m not quite sure. This court case is immense. There are hundreds and hundreds of people we have to talk to. And I’m sure with the money SM has, they won’t go down easy,” the officer says. “The investigators and lawyers on this case will be in close touch with you and your family. What SM did to you all, was beyond inhumane. I want you to know that Mark.”  
“And what will happen to my friends?” I ask. There’s a pause. A sickening pause. “Most of them are fine,” he says. “Most of them will be out of here soon, just like you.” “And the rest of them?” I ask. He looks blankly at me. His forehead growing glossier with sweat. “Some of your friends are in pretty bad shape. I won’t lie to you. SM used the technology as well as psychoactive chemicals to push the limits of the mind to achieve subservience. One of the boys, Ten, is in critical care. He’s basically a vegetable. I’m not sure what happened to him in there. But I don’t even think I could begin to imagine. I’m just so sorry to all of you. I really am.”  
A few days later, I sat down with a larger group of police. They surrounded the room in cameras, and microphones. They had taken pictures of my body when they found us. Everything to record the horror of what had happened.  
I sat for hours telling my story. Front to back. They asked me what seemed like hundreds of questions; Were we ever touched. Did they coerce us to do things. Had we really merged our consciousnesses.  
I sat and wondered what the other guys had said. How had their experience been different from mine? How did we tell this story? A story that had started like a dream itself.

<><><><><><><><><>

Most of us got to go home within the next few weeks. I got the news a couple days after I came home that Ten’s family had decided to let him go. His brain had suffered enough.  
The news shook me to my core. In reality, whatever that meant at this point, I had been the last person to talk to him. And don’t think that it didn’t cross my mind that perhaps I could have saved him.  
I still couldn’t sleep. I could only stare. Stare out my window. Stare at the wall. Stare at myself in the mirror. Or at least what was left.  
I knew I was not the same person as before, nor would I ever be. They had not only stolen part of me, but they had stolen my friends. They had stolen my dad.  
My mom was trying her absolute best in all of this. She got me pills to sleep. Pills to not make me feel this way. She got me a therapist. But I wasn’t even sure what to say to her. Maybe I didn’t have anything to say at all.  
Information about what really happened at the lab inevitabley leaked to the press, and soon enough my dad’s face was plastered everywhere I looked. A nation’s hero.  
Some nights I would just scream. My mom would come into my room and hold me. Rocking me back in forth as she did. But I just kept wailing. I didn’t know what else to do. It all just hurt more than anything I could've ever imagined.  
Ten’s funeral was the first time since we entered the pods that I saw all of the dreamers in one place. I think what hurt the most is that I could tell that none of them were the same either. They too had been lied to. They too had been manipulated. They too had lost a friend.  
During the wake, Taeyong approaches me, laying a hand on my shoulder and taking a seat at one of the adjacent foldable chairs. “Hi,” he whispers. I pick at the celery sticks on my plate. Moving them to one side, and then the other.  
“I-I don’t think I’ll ever have the words to say to any of you,” Taeyong chokes out. He begins to weep, wiping his tears with the sleeve of his jacket. “Before this, I used to believe that everything happened for a reason,” he says. “And now?” I ask.  
“Now. Well now I guess I have a regret. One at least,” he says, voice shaking. “And what is that?” I ask almost coldly. “That I couldn’t have met you all another way,” he says, tears still streaking down his face. “I thought you were going to say you regret ever applying to the experiment,” I say. “That’s, I guess, on the surface of the regret. But, these past few weeks I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. And I’m sure you have too. But, I’ve been thinking of all the ways things could have been different. I know it’s pointless, because I’ll never be able to go back and change things. I don’t know. What if we had all met at school. Or maybe bumped into each other at an arcade. Anything but this,” He says.  
A week later, the 14 of us were to have our first and only tell-all special with a major TV network. My mom asked me over and over if I was okay with it, that I could back out anytime if I wanted to. But I wanted to. I wanted everyone to know what they had done to us. What they had done to Ten.  
I wanted them to see the things we saw. Feel the things we felt. To understand fear in its most primal form.  
Right before the cameras began rolling, Taeyong gets up from his seat. “Excuse me? Taeyong is it? We’re right about to go live!” The interviewer shouts after him. He goes behind a corner, and quickly returns with another stool. He places it down next to his own, giving it a small pat before facing forward. “For Ten,” he says to us.  
The cameras turn on, and the director counts back from five. “Hi, and welcome to the story of the year, or quite possibly the story of the decade. Here with me tonight is 14 of the 15 dreamers from SM’s NCT: Empathy experiment. A little over two months ago, they were taken from the lab after a grand and criminal scheme by SM was revealed. Now for the first time ever, those 14 will be telling their stories.”  
The interviewer turns to us and the questioning begins. It’s mostly a mundane back and forth, a story that at this point, we had told ourselves millions of times. The attention eventually and inevitably turns to me; “Now Mark, your dad was the one who rigged the experiment so you’d get in. How do you feel about that now?” She asks. “What do you mean?” I ask in return. “Aren’t you mad at your father that he did that? Wouldn’t you have rather someone else did this instead of you?”  
“I’m not mad at my dad. And I wouldn’t rather someone else be in my place,” I say back. “And why is that Mark? What was the ‘worth it’ factor in all of this?” She prods. I sit for a moment, not quite sure of what to say. “Before this experiment, nothing was the way it is now. And I guess I could say that the after will never be the same. But if I got anything, anything at all, out of this shitty experiment, it’s that I got 14 best friends. It’s that I realized, even through all of this, that there is much more good in this world than bad. That more people are on your side than you might think.”  
There’s another pause as the interviewer thinks. She looks at her notes, and then back up at us. She closes her notebook, and looks me in the eyes. “So what do you think you really found in there Mark?” She asks. I look at Taeyong, and he gives me a nod.  
“Do you want to know what I found in there? I found my greatest fears. I found my friends’ greatest fears. I learned what they loved. How they think. How they care for each other. I think what I found in there, ironic as it sounds, I think I found-”

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i hope you enjoyed this work! it took me a while to finish it and it was really different from anything i'd ever written! if you enjoy my other works i will be doing verkwan after this!
> 
> let's be mutuals! twitter: futuraultra


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